Red flag: talking about his ex & showing her pics

[katiie3]

Recently started talking to a man. He told me how his ex cheated on him and fell pregnant to the man she cheated with. This happened over 1.5 years ago.

His ex gf is now happily settled with this man and baby.

He asked me if I wanted to see her pics, before I could reply, he showed me his phone. He showed me her social media profile with her new bf, baby etc

I did find it weird, if I’m honest.

He made a few comments about her new bf was “ugly” ...

As lovely as this man seems, it has almost put me off him.

What would you say about this?

It sounds like you’re dating my ex... Except I never actually cheated on him.

Run like the wind. Unless you want him showing his new one all your photos.

@mumandnotmum it was so strange. He literally whipped his phone at 100 miles per hour in my face to show me the pics.

I would think he wasn't ready for a new relationship. Were they together long? The baby must have been born fairly recently, he's probably still hurting, which might be something of an excuse for being indiscreet, but if he was trying to chat you up, he doesn't sound like the brightest spark?

Could be that hes using her pics to validate himself,if shes pretty it shows you how desirable he is and gives him credibility?

@ravenmum they have been split up for 1.5 years, maybe slightly more.

I mean, were they together for 10 years before that or 6 months :) If 10 years, for example, then 1.5 years afterwards is not that long.

@Specialized101 ye she was nice and attractive. But he wasn’t really showing me her as much. He was emphasising the man she cheated on him with, and the baby.

He pointed out how ugly the man was and that she cheated with a loser.

@ravenmum they were together 3 years.

I wouldn't want to know he's still stalking her online, weird to include you in it. Sounds like it hasn't got over it yet.

OK, not long, but enough for him to have been pretty disappointed, if he was imagining having a child with her for example. And the baby is a new reminder so it will be fresher. I'd think he was a) not over it, b) too miserable to be dating and c) not very clever to be saying that kind of thing on a date.

Had something similar with an OLD date - it's not that they shouldn't mention their ex at all, but when they still seem so bitter/unhappy, it is a huge turn-off.

@ravenmum it’s a weird situation to be if you’ve only known the person a few weeks. He sounded more bitter and almost jealous of her “new family”.

And yes, he was on her social media page, looking at her bf 😂

Some men just haven't got a clue how to impress a woman, I would give him a miss.

Not healthy - next!

Nah, I'd write this one off. He's not over it.

How awkward.. that would put me off too

I was introduced to his ex, her bf and her baby on the 3rd date 😂😂

He's still hung up on her. I'd leave him be to get over it.

Jesus OP, does his name begin with S by any chance?

Tbf if she cheated and got pregnant by someone else he's probably traumatised.
It's under estimated how much this kind of deceit can actually cause ptsd symptoms.
Being cheated on is hideous. So he's definitely not suitable for dating atm but this doesn't make him a bad person, just one that could probably do with some professional support and sadly is unlikely to ever seek it.

@Cryingmakesmecry no, his name begins with M

@famousforwrongreason yes, I agree.

That's really ridiculous and creepy. I wouldn't see him again, and block him on everything so he doesn't spy on your FB or whatever all the time.