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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Need to build the trust

2 replies

Pocketdragon22 · 30/06/2020 11:46

Been with my bf for 5 years...had a awful year last year....we moved in together which was stressful ..change of jobs and money worries..then my bf had a break down...he trying to do everything right make pefect home ..then change of his job..lack of money. Stresses of bills got to much....then the lock down happened he was put on furlough. I work but not enough to support us the house and my kids who live with there dad...child maitenance payments etc....since I met him he has been insecure in himself on and off and since we moved in together it got worst....then when he had his breakdown it got too much and had angrer issues....never hurt me in physical sense.

Anyway it got too much for me..we wasnt talking both getting stressed ..coukdnt afford stuff all about money..he was waiting or first furlough payments etc after a argument I decided to.leave..

That was 4 months ago........just both needed time out to breath..
Since then he had started counselling as he has realised ghosts from his past have cought up with him that makes him insecure ..incident happened that hit him hard and made him question people's motives and he never lived with anyone before and with that and stresses of money no job..got too much.. he does counselling weekly to help him through it and face things he has started a course of anti depressants..
We have been finally talking..its nothing to do with lack of love etc just needed timeout....
My issue is trust I need to build up the trust again..he knows and said he has to earn my trust. We have registered for couples counselling as well.

Just how do I go foward to trust him. I know people have breakdowns etc and it has been really stressful time recently.
How do we go forward...I said for the moment I wont move back as I think we need to communicate more and I want to make sure his counselling is helping him etc..he understands fir now
How do we go foward

OP posts:
Lozzerbmc · 30/06/2020 14:12

Sounds like taking it slowly is a good option. In what respect do you need to build up the trust?

Pocketdragon22 · 30/06/2020 14:48

The trust bit I need to build up is that we never told me about his past until now he said he was scarred to tell me incase I walked......I wouldn't off. He never trusted me to tell me..haves in tears when he told me.. I see everyone has a past.
And it's how mad he got ...and he never talked to me...I know men find it hard to talk..but I feel let down in that he never told me it took a breakdown to tell me...

OP posts:
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