Sex after marriage...a new daters question.

[TheWindowDonkey]

Ok, so my husband of 20 years and I have separated. Our sex life was Very variable and infrequent.

A few weeks ago I started to see someone new...its very early days and we're taking it slowly. The sex is, frankly, astoundingly good. He is very considerate and knows exactly what he’s doing, we seem hugeoy compatible in this area. I feel 20 years old again. The last time I experienced anyone except my ex WAS my twenties and although I had some good lovers it was really hit and miss. So my question to anyone who is on the dating scene in my age group (40’s) is...have men just got much better at sex as they get older, or have I struck gold here?

I dont think that it's just men, I think women too. For me, it was an opportunity to leave old habits behind, learn new things and let go in a more mature way.

My ex DH and I were kind of stuck in a rut I guess. Children, the fact that we met so young and also because we cared less made it pretty boring.

I also think my drive increased - I think age had to do with it but mostly the excitement of a new partner.

Enjoy it OP!

Thanks Ninja, I most certainly am! 😁😁 I think my situation was very similar to yours, and possibly a lot of marriages. Kids and complacency kill the joy. And yes! to the higher drive...its taken me by surprise.

Hi OP, I think a few things come into play when dating in your 40's that makes the sex better. Yes some men have improved with experience and maturity, also our bodies can change and somehow can become more responsive with more fun buttons to push - I think it's mother nature doing that as it's telling you these are your last chance years to reproduce.
Also, we gain confidence with age and find asking for what we want easier, we also know ourselves better and are less likely to go along with things that don't do it for us.
Enjoy, but be careful, it's easy to get carried away and overenthusiastic about the first dating experience after a LTR has ended. It's all new and exciting, but watch out for those possible red flags, don't become blinkered to all flaws by the wave of euphoria you are likely to be on.

I think men in their 40s+ get a bit more relaxed about sex, it's not so much about a race to orgasm and they're not so eager to impress. They can take time to listen and pleasure and be more relaxed. Coupled with the fact that you're probably more comfortable in yourself, it's a dynamic combo. Enjoy!!

I've not had masses of partners having met H1 in the 1st year of uni.
After we split up (I was late 30's) and I then got together with my DH2 and he was a very considerate lover, and we both definately wanted it more than we had with our 1st spouses for some time (for me a combination of new relationship - although that continued, not having the pressure of kids - they spent time with their dad H1 etc).
After DH2 died I've (now late 40's) got a new DP and again he is very considerate.
Both DH2 and DP were early 50's when we got together.

Not sure if they get better as they age, I don't think I've had enough experience to judge!