Broken

[SissyLongStockings]

My ex and I split up end of April. We had some contact but this last month theres been nothing from either of us. I think he may be back with his ex partner although not 100% and have no proof of this. They have kids together. My problem is my brain has got to a point where its stopped processing the break up. Im stuck where I think hes either going to come back. Im creating my own rom com in my head where I will see him and im looking fabulous and he will declare his undying love for me. I know this wont happen. But i cant cope with losing him. Please please be gentle im broken enough already x

It's so hard when someone exits your life that you love. It shatters all hopes and dreams in a second. Your rom com fantasy is probably a way of helping you get through this time.

It might be worth writing out a list of what was wrong with the relationship. I think at times like this it is very easy to focus on only all the good things which of course will make you feel like you have lost the most amazing person in the world and keep you trapped in that limbo of pain and longing.

If he has gone back to his ex already then he clearly was not over her and that would have always caused problems.

Take care

@SissyLongStockings this is part of grieving for the relationship. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Be kind to yourself.

The fact you know that your thoughts are just daydreams is good. Keep reminding yourself of what he didn’t bring into your life also though - do you want to be/feel second best to another woman for example?

This is normal, try stillness and mindfulness. Hopefully you'll find a new inner strength from those still moments and you'll realise you are not your thoughts.

How about, in this rom-com, he's the asshole who, even though you still have feelings for him, becomes the asshole to the OW too and you slowly realise just how much of an asshole he is when you keep bumping into him.... and as you realise that and start to move on with your life, you meet the man of your dreams who shows you what it's like to feel special and loved.

In your new rom com you will look fabulous and find a man who sees that in you and treats you how you deserve to be treated. It's easy to keep remembering the good bits and brush over the shit. You will get there.

Why did you split up?