29 years and just been slapped on the head and realised I had enough of this shit!

[Lemonlady22]

That's it really ...29 years of selfishness, his needs before mine and 3 children, 4 if you count the one he never bothered with for 16 plus years...the affairs, the spending weekends out on the piss with the lads...especially the one where he dumped two children at my sisters when I had an emergency c section, and wasnt even one day post op....the shouting, the aggressiveness..oh I could go on but I'm so over it. Maybe what really done it was this weekend....disabled me painting a wall while he played playstation...what a man!...plays it up as the big 'I am' but barely able to function at any thing....does well in his job but can't brush his teeth without me telling him to....so that's it....house gonna be sold when he finishes what needs doing (one job still not completed after 25 YEARS) so I wont hold my breath. I'm done. Phew feel better now

When you are done, you are done.

Have you got yourself organised- copies of all important financial and personal documents? Meeting with solicitor lined up?

Taking action will feel amazing!

Get your paperwork sorted.
Book a solicitor appointment.
Pack your treasures and hide them.
Good luck 💐

Good for you! You can now pour all your energy into more important things. You won't have all that dragging you down and I'm sure you'll enjoy the improved atmosphere 👍👍. Celebration time:)

Just think Lemonlady22 from now on you can do what you liiiiiiiiike! Woohoo!

The post-op dumping the kids thing is really sad.

You are carrying this through. I can feel it.

Glad you have seen the light.. I wouldn't be waiting for him to finish that job. If he hasn't done it in 25 years I doubt he's going to be in any kind of rush to do it now. Get a builder or handyman in, get it sorted and get on with your new life.

Pay for it to be done. The house will be sold so the cost wool be be a drop in the ocean.
Well done and good luck for a positive, dh free, future.

Good luck, I’m sure it’ll be an immense weight off you now you’ve made the decision. You deserve better.

Go for it.

You DESERVE better than that.

Good luck and stick with it.

Yesssss! Good for you! now to start getting your stuff together. Can you get a hard shell suitcase with a code lock to store things like birth certificates/passports/jewellery etc?

Best decision you'll ever make.

Don't wait for the job to be finished! Get the house on the market now and your documents in order. You've wasted enough time on this man.

Awww good luck to you love, you deserve so much better, you move on and have the life you deserve

Just sell the house as it is, don't bother waiting.

Totally agree - if he's not done it in 25 years he's not going to, get it on the market and move on

When you have got to this point things can only get better.

I had no kids but I was with a right idiot for a few years in My early twenties. He was a manchild. Always trying to play grown up but was still checking out The girls at the grammar school (sixth formers) always talking about women at work. Always moaning about his sister's and his dad. I realised I wasn't attracted to him at all anymore. Got rid of him. Got him off my mortgage. Best thing I ever did.

Thanks....you are all right...my kids are all adults, so no probs there..estate agents here I come!

Go on lass! Get rid and start a fresh. I can't tell you how great it feels waking up in your new place and having a whole life to carve out in front of you with only yourself to please!

Make the life you deserve. And enjoy it

I ended my marriage after 29 years. His parting shot was I'm having the dc, you won't manage without me (despite doing everything single handedly for years) you will soon come crawling back. Three years in dd visits roughly once a year and for a short time as the house is minging and she won't use the loo and my older ones don't go either. He never wanted the dc but thought he'd keep me by threatening to take them. I've never been happier as an adult (was with him since I was a teen). Don't bother waiting for him to do the DIY get the house on the market regardless and start making a future for yourself.

Good for you!! I still remember (10 years on) that feeling when I opened the door to my new home, the one without him in it. The sense of happiness and relief.

@jeaux90 I still feel so very happy when I walk into my bedroom knowing that it's all mine. I smile when I walk downstairs in a morning knowing that the downstairs will be just how I left it and there won't be rubbish , pots and mess strewn about for me to clean up before I start the day. I smile when I walk in the loo knowing he won't have pissed on the seat, floor, wall and left it. I smile when I choose to buy something for me and the dc without being cross examined over every penny spent whist he spent whatever he wanted without consulting me. So many more reasons to smile.

Exactly Hiredandsqueak. Finding happiness in your own company is such a blessing. No one to have to "negotiate" everything with ...apart from the kids of course

I just woke up one day after 29 yrs and thought ‘I can’t do this anymore’
Children had all left home
By the end of the following week I had left
Have never looked back
Have my own lovely house, great garden and a dog
Lots of friends, got a part time job, play golf and have a smile on my face every morning I wake up
My children know I’m happier and it shows

Go you!

@jeaux90

Good for you!! I still remember (10 years on) that feeling when I opened the door to my new home, the one without him in it. The sense of happiness and relief.

I could have written that! 10 years since I left my abusive ex. Remember the day I took the keys to my brand new build house, i closed the door behind me and sobbed with happiness. I skipped around every rooms kissing the walls and planning in my mind how it would all look. I had an inflatable mattress, a microwave and kettle and most importantly, a bottle opener. My friends came over with wine, paint brushes and sleeping bags. We drank and laughed all night. I felt like I’d just been reborn. Nothing compares to that feeling OP, do it and do it now! Today is the first day of the rest of your life!