Bloody bloody fucking bloody bollocks. Breaking up for the right reasons shouldnt hurt this much

[PyongyangKipperbang]

He took me for granted. He refused to tell his (seperated for well over a year) wife about me. He expected me to fall in with what he wanted.

So I've dumped him.

OK

Except I fell in love and it hurts so much. I know that hurting is the first step to healing but fuck me, I wish it wasnt.

I'm so sorry! This is the reason I'm still in my relationship. I should of left by now but I know the TEMPORARY pain on the other side and I couldn't handle it right now.
You need to distract yourself. I suggest Tinder.
It will entertain you and the best part, you don't not have to follow through, you can just delete once you've gotten over the sadness.
This may be frowned upon so I apologise but you have to do what you have to do for yourself!
You left because you deserve better and you still do!!!!

I'm not quite at "tinder as a laugh" just yet, but I get it. Thank you.

I am 47 and have learned that short term pain is worth the long term gain, I just wish it didnt hurt so much. To a younger woman I would offer the advice that ridding yourself of a dickhead is worth it

Going through a break up , never cried so much like I'm grieving. It's bloody scary. I don't remember it being this painful. I can't wait for the pain to pass

@Summertime87

I dont remember it hurting this much either. Does it hurt more as we get older? Or do we fall in love faster? I dont know, but whatever it is, I dont want to do it again.

I'm a similar age OP and recently had to end a 6 year relationship for the right reasons. It has been incredibly painful. I'm past daily crying now but I feel I'm just going through the motions now, living half a life. I miss him enormously, he was my best friend as well as my life partner.

Still feeling like shit. I know I've done the right thing, it all bores down to the issue with his ex. He doesnt want to have to deal with her flying off the handle so prefers to ask me to sneak around like I'm the OW (which I wasnt btw) and now would rather we break up than deal with her. I know he misses me and loves me, so its frustrating that his cowardice at dealing with her is causing all this.

I will be ok in the long run and I know I am better off without someone so spineless but it hurts so much right now.

For what it's worth you've done the right thing. I'm sorry it hurts so much but rather that than creeping round until the ex sniffs you out and all hell breaks loose and he dumps you like a hot potato.. no balls to stand up to the ex! You are definitely worth more than that. 🤗

My ex was the same. We deserve better than cowardly men who make us feel like a dirty secret. I think it hurts more as it's a culmination of other break ups. And because we are looking for someone to settle and grow older with.

Whats so painful is that in every other way, things were perfect. Our mutual friends who do know (they dont get on with his ex, or rather she didnt like them because of the way she acted over the years) have said how good we were together. They are all really pissed off with him too.

He’s putting his ex’s feelings above yours- do you think he’ll try to come back to you? Sorry you’re hurting 💐

You’ve done the right thing, could’ve saved yourself much of this (short term) pain by ending the relationship sooner when it became clear he wanted to hide it. No contact best!

Things weren’t perfect: sounds like you’re romanticising.

I guess the grief is over loosing what you'd hoped for - a happy relationship .Rather than grief over loosing his love ,which clearly wasn't there in sufficient quantity .

Sorry @PyongyangKipperbang break ups suck! But if he’s this spineless and cowardly, he doesn’t deserve you or your love.

This too shall pass and you’ll still be fabulous and he’ll still be a scared twerp.

its frustrating that his cowardice at dealing with her is causing all this.

You're 100% right to feel this way, and when a woman thinks a man is being cowardly with regard to his love for her, there's honestly no hope. The love won't survive it.

To a younger woman I would offer the advice that ridding yourself of a dickhead is worth it flowers

Thank you for this ^

I'm sorry you are having such a shit time too

I'm sorry OP but if he genuinely loved you he wouldnt be so scared of his ex. It's an excuse.

OP, I'm exactly the same age as you and I'm going through heartbreak too, I ended it a few days ago. He had never told any of his friends or family about me, after being together over a year. It hurts like hell ending things even though you know in your heart you had to do it. No phone calls, no messages. It's physical pain. And you're right, it seems even worse now we are older. Like being a teenager again. I feel your pain