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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Back together after lockdown

14 replies

HedgeHogFoxBadger · 28/06/2020 21:19

So after 2 break ups we started seeing each other just before lockdown and then didnt see each other for 11 weeks.
We have been getting on well, I do think I love him but not 100% sure how I feel about the whole thing. He hasnt told his parents we are back together which annoys me (although he is quite a private person) and we havent got the kids together like he had promised. It's just always me and him, regardless of my 3 girls

OP posts:
NotaCoolMum · 28/06/2020 22:11

Does he not want your girls around when he’s with you?

PAND0RA · 28/06/2020 22:15

Why would you involve your kids if things are so unstable ?

Sooobooored · 28/06/2020 22:16

Where are your girls?

ScottishStottie · 28/06/2020 22:18

Why are you pushing for your kids to be involved at this early turbulent stage?

If you are trying to use it as some test to see how serious he is (if he wants to get to know my kids hes in it for life) then you're using your children as pawns...

HedgeHogFoxBadger · 28/06/2020 22:28

We have been together for nearly 3 years on and off and before lockdown decided to get back together.
I am not pushing the kids to get together but after 2.5 years I would have thought it be normal to do some things all together but hes not interested. We both have 5 year olds but he would rather do things on his own with is child.
Scottish, I am definately not using it as a test. Im just saying after nearly 3 years...

OP posts:
NotaCoolMum · 28/06/2020 22:33

Combining families is VERY hard- maybe see where you two are headed first? If he’s never willing to combine the two then you know you’ll be headed for a dead end x

HedgeHogFoxBadger · 28/06/2020 22:34

Just to add my girls are 17, 13 and 5.
He has told me this time he wants things to be different, wants us to be a couple (but not living together) but no hes not really interested in my children

OP posts:
HedgeHogFoxBadger · 28/06/2020 22:35

NotaCoolMum weve been trying for nearly 3 years....

OP posts:
user12699422578 · 28/06/2020 22:36

Actions not words.

HedgeHogFoxBadger · 28/06/2020 22:38

@user12699422578

Actions not words.
What does that mean?!
OP posts:
NotaCoolMum · 28/06/2020 22:39

Maybe it’s time to walk? If it’s not working for you, you need to make a tough decision for you and your girls 💐

MushyPeasAreTheDevilsFood · 28/06/2020 22:39

he’s not interested
You said this. Remember this. Focus on this. Not what he says; what he does.

This is not a stable relationship. Move on.

HedgeHogFoxBadger · 28/06/2020 22:45

Mushypeas shit, that makes sense now.
He has always said how very difficult it is to mix families especially with teenage girls which I do understand but EVERY time I keep brushing over it

OP posts:
MsDogLady · 28/06/2020 23:16

Is he still pinning you down and tickling you in a hard, painful manner, refusing to stop even though it upsets you?

This physical abuse and his long-term disinterest in your children are huge red flags. In your shoes, I would have nothing to do with this man and I certainly wouldn’t expose my children to him.

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