Partner goes to ex gf house to see child AIBU to complain

[Sumnerplay]

I've been with my partner nearly a year and his ex who he hasn't been with for nearly 2 years who he has a 3 year old little girl with will not let him see his daughter unless he goes to her house, we live together and she asks him to come down everyday and he goes whenever she asks as he doesn't want to say no to seeing his daughter, obviously I get crazy thoughts running thru my mind he assures me nothing happens as he doesn't look at her like that, would it be unreasonable for me to ask him to only go 3 times a week as when he is there he's goes at 9am till about 6pm he owns 2 business so doesn't have to go to work but I get so frustrated as I'm not allowed to meet his little girl as her mum thinks it's too soon yet she has men coming to her house for one night stands. It's not even like I can talk to her to suggest him having her at our house and I will go out as she is very aggressive towards me she's slashed my car tyres comments on the way I look thrown objects out of my car whilst stood at my window and told me she's going to ragdoll my child like a cat and roundhouse me in the face so I can't see if my little girl is okay and called her a cabbage patch doll. He's spoken to a solicitor and she is referred them to meditation which his ex has said she will not take part in so it will be going thru court, do I just wait and put up with her odd behaviour of forcing her ex to spend time with her until court is over or tell him how I feel and suggest him only seeing her 3 times a week or iam just being a horrible person

OP you sound very young too.
Your relationship is hardly stable if he is spending 9-6 at his ex's home.
Regardless of how long you have known each other, this sounds like an absolute shitstorm.
He's only concern is his child, your only concern is him, where does your child fit into this mess?

No father goes around to his exes house from 9am to 6pm each day.

For someone who acts like he's dedicated father of the year who needs to spend every minute with his child then why on earth has he not already been to court???

He's allowing her to threaten you and your child and still hasn't been to court, still hangs around there every day for 9am to 6??

If that weird story is true and he's not actually cheating then he's enabling her to go on like this and threaten you and put you and your child at risk...but I reckon there's a pair of them in it and this is not all her at all!

OP, you must see there's all sorts wrong here. No one owns two businesses and does no work in them. No one visits their ex and child and stays all day everyday.

You'd be well out of it.

Op he does it because he wants to, don't be mistaken that it's cause of her. Think about it, you have a huge dislike for this women - why?... I bet it started off with things your dp told you, and she doesn't like you because of things he told her!

You are In the way from her side, and his actions show that he is playing both sides.

How the hell do you know she has ONS?... from him? Or someone else stirring?

Unless, she broke up with him because she just didn't want to date him anymore- no other drama then I guess she and you are both being played to hate each other and your dp is the victim stuck in the middle.

Both sides aren't happy with the situation, but dp in the middle is just fine if he wasn't he would change it.

Sorry OP for this situation your in but it's a DP issue.

You are in a stable and loving partnership that is so strong that you feel the decision to move your young child in with him, yet are suspecting him of infidelity

This.

You call this relationship loving and stable?! Did you type that with a straight face?!

It baffles me the lengths women go to on here to defend putting a man before their children.

You are not providing a stable environment if your car has been damaged, your child's safety has been threatened with stuff like swinging them round and round housing them and you "get crazy thoughts" running through your mind when he isn't home with you.

Do you seriously, honestly believe that is a stable environment?

Time to grow up. Kids first.

The problem here is your bloke.

Tell him to leave, get his business sorted with his ex and kid. Then see if there's a future afterwards. This isn't good for your family.

Agree with @excelledyourself and @backseatcookers.

Get out if there and put your child first.

Why is he going to court over the child? Can’t they sort it out in the 9am-6pm they spend together every day?

What backseat says. All this drama and threats and stress, over a bloke.

The court thing makes no sense at all. It does not make up. He's there from 9am to 6pm every day, she's apparently a very volatile horrible woman.....and yet even though he's taking her to court their relationship is hunky dory, so good in fact that he hangs around at hers all day long, spending more time there than most people do with their actual partners!!

@VeggieSausageRoll

He goes on a weekend to oversee business matters

Cough grow house cough

Yep

she's slashed my car tyres comments on the way I look thrown objects out of my car whilst stood at my window and told me she's going to ragdoll my child like a cat and roundhouse me in the face

If anyone said or did one of these things to me I'd contact the police then end the relationship. No man is worth this amount of crazy.

Does she have people stopping at her house frequently during the day? Do his friends ever visit him at her house?

Think about this from your daughters view if that helps you stop making it about this man and you OP.

Imagine finding out your mum moved in a man, and stayed with a man, who was the root cause of your own safety being threatened as a little girl.

Finding out your mum kept in your life the people who caused you, as a child, to be at threat of being physically harmed including round house kicked.

Imagine how disappointed and let down you would feel.

You need to grow up OP and stop centring your decisions on this man instead of your innocent children.

They don't have choices. You do and your partner does.

Stop letting down the children in your lives.