Unhappy in relationship! Moving back home at 27?

[Jess9693]

Ok so this may be more of a rant, but I'm hoping to get some advice still.
Just over a year ago I moved in with my boyfriend. It was my decision not to be named on the mortgage due to his deposit coming from inheritance so I pay my share of the bills instead. Up until now it's been fine, but now I'm just putting my money into someone else's house. Except the fact I'm literally a 50s housewife!
We both work full time, but the cooking/cleaning has always been left to me. I've recently started a new job which means my 9 hour days are more like 12 hours and I'm still the one doing everything. I've spoken to him about it so many times and despite how I approach it, whether I try to talk about it calmly or argue, he gets really defensive and loses his temper. We've been here over a year and he still has absolutely no idea how to use the washing machine and he's admitted that the reason he doesn't do anything is because his mother has always done it for him.
I moved out of my hometown to come here and although I'm not too far away (15 miles) I feel so lonely and I'm tempted to go back home. I literally spend my days working, cleaning and going to bed. Can I go home at 27?
One thing that lockdown has shown me is that my boyfriend and I have nothing in common, we don't enjoy the same TV programmes or films. Even enjoying a meal and a drink in the evening is difficult because we don't like the same things. Also we have absolutely no sex life! I can't remember the last time we so much as kissed. I've tried so many things but he has absolutely no interest. I know he struggles with his own mental health and i try to encourage him to talk about it but he turns away any help and despite going to a doctor and have medication prescribed he won't take it.
Despite this I do love him and I know he'd be devastated if I left and I think I would too. Is it possible to love someone but be so unhappy? I just feel like I've run out of chances to give him now. It's also the idea of having to start allover again that scares me.
Thank you for any help or advice that anyone can give me. If not thank you anyway for reading my rant.

So pleased to hear this @Jess9693!!! Good luck, baby. We are all cheering for you.

Do it!

I moved back home at 25 after living with my then fiance for a year. We subsequently got back together, married and had DD.

It was a hell of a lot harder moving back in with my parents at 40 with an 11yo in tow when we got divorced!

Thank you everyone for your help and confirming pretty much what I already knew. But also showing me that this wasn't just what adult life was so I had to deal with it! The final straw for me was definitely after I'd cleaned and cooked dinner I made myself a cup of tea, then put my mug in the sink. He told me 'the least I could do was wash a mug.' And then sulked because I hadn't washed his uniform! Thanks for your help guys

Going to be the voice of dissent here and say no, don’t move back home, get your own place, even if a house share. You’re 27, it’s a bit old to be going back to mum and dad imo, aren’t you craving some freedom and independence? Your boyfriend sounds pretty immature and useless but tbh an adult woman of 27 who feels if it doesn’t work out with her boyfriend the only solution is to return to mum and dad sounds fairly immature too. Striking out on your own would give you some maturity and life experience! I don’t understand how so many adults don’t have that drive to be independent anymore.

I’m sure you can come up with a tonne of reasons why it makes sense to go live with your parents instead of stand on your own two feet, but have a think about it: the fact you’d accept living there and not paying your fair share is yet another sign to me that it really is time to get a bit of independence.

I'm in a similar situation, 26 and about to move home. It is scary after having my independence for so long but I know its the right choice. I'm not willing to rent somewhere by myself just yet and it's just throwing money away. I want to save and then put a deposit down on my own place. If you have somewhere you can go where you know you will be happy, then go! Honestly we are still young and have lots of time to find someone else. I guess just the pressure of society makes it feel like we don't have long, especially when we see our friends getting married and having babies, but imagine doing that with the wrong person, and knowing all along it was all wrong!

Definitely the right decision, I'll bet he doesn't give a moments thought to what you are doing to keep the house going.

You can save once you are at home and move out again. It might take time but it will be quicker than waiting forever for him to change his attitude.

How did you end up being this mans housekeeper? Go back to your parents house and take time to reflect and move on.

So you're paying for the privilege of working as his housekeeper?
Yep!!!!
Madness.
Very glad you are packing up.
Moving back to your parents is a smart move.
You can save for your own place.
And let this be a lesson.
Any man who expects his partner to be his housekeeper has to be dumped.
Immediately.
Find a grown up who knows how to 'adult'.
Don't even show him how to use HIS washing machine.
He can figure it out because he's... you know.... an adult!!!
I fucking hate men like this.
Selfish little pricks.
At 27, get out there and enjoy life.
Have loads of sex. Find yourself again.
And never 'settle' - EVER!!!!
Well done OP.
Enjoy your own space.

@AmeliaTaylor - I'm 51 and will soon be moving in with my dad.
Indeed.... I'm sooooo immature!!!

Ignore what PP said. I’d much rather be living with my parents TEMPORARILY with a PLAN than move into shared accommodation like they suggested. Some people’s parents simply don’t want any more towards the bills (this isn’t me btw, I do pay my way, do my own shopping and washing ect). Not living with your parents doesn’t automatically make you mature, it’s your mindset. I also think more mature people are less judgmental

Justyouraveragehuman

That’s great you know what you’d do in that situation :) however OP hasn’t said anywhere it would be with a plan, temporary, or to save for her own deposit. Happy to be corrected if I’ve missed it though.

@justyouraveragehuman it would definitely be a temporary situation until I've saved enough money for a deposit for my own home. I don't want to rent so it'll be for a mortgage deposit. Thank you again everyone, your help has definitely given me the final push

Good luck OP! 🌹

Good luck OP and yes definitely move in with your parents. Take the time to heal, relax and make a plan. I don't know you but I'm very happy for you xx

You are making the right decision OP, 27 is so young and one year in you should be in the honeymoon period. Don't waste any more time on this relationship - it's not working for you.