Am I asking too much?

[loulou12385]

I'll try to keep this short but I need to know if I'm expecting too much. DH works hard, he's a tradesman leaves early in the morning often gets home late in the evening. Doesn't work weekends. I'm currently WFH full time. We have a 2yo and I have a 12yo from previous relationship. Since lockdown and with me being at home full time, his contributions to helping around the house have slipped to absolutely nothing. I do all meal times, shopping, manage the finances, housework, bath time, bed time, washing, home schooling, dog walking, cooking. All with a whirlwind toddler to entertain and keep alive. All he does at the moment is go to work and come home. Yesterday I got up with dd again, he ran errands all day so was hardly at home. This morning he was awake before me, I asked if he would get up with dd and get her breakfast. He called me lazy and said he just wanted to have a lay in as he's been working hard all week. Is it really too much to expect him to get up and get her breakfast? Honestly I'm drained doing everything alone. I get he works in a physical job but it's not as though I'm sat at home doing nothing.

You’re not. He’s taking the piss. You’re worth working. You’re both parents.

Thanks I mean that's how I feel but I've never been in this situation before (apart from when I was on mat leave but that was different, didn't have work on top of everything else). I think he sees it as kind of similar to that. Forgets that I'm still contributing 50/50 to the bills. And for him to call me lazy? That comment totally pissed me off.

I had a similar situation but instead of this just being a lock down situation it was a permanent one. He didn’t get it until I left and he had to do some of this for himself. Unfortunately it was too late by then.
At least I know know it is just me and I’m prepared to do all the work myself

Sunnydays that's what I'm worried about. My company are making plans to have us back at work soon, so I'll be back in the office full time and out of the house most of the day. I can see there being a battle when it comes to getting back to how things were before lockdown. Even though most things still fell to me despite the fact I worked full time.

I'll help you bury his body in the back garden 😉

Of course he's being unreasonable So you stop doing his washing, cooking and anything else you care to not do. It's that same old myth that housework doesn't exist, because there's never anything to show for it. He's being a total bastard.

You're definitely not asking too much. He's being a lazy shit! Someone on another thread I've read suggested writing all the jobs that need doing down then sitting down with DH and splitting them up. Not sure how well it works but could be worth a try? Make sure you add in getting up with the toddler so you both get chance for a lie in

Why is it that the mum is left with the heavy end of things the majority of the time!
It got to the point where he did his own washing because I refused but instead of thinking to himself I need to help her out he would actually riffle through the washing basket and pull out only his things. I can’t tell you how much this upset me. It made me feel he didn’t care about me or the kids. His washing is only one example but I literally done everything. Some men think doing to work is all they need to do

As a single parent I honestly think I have it best. No one to resent for not pulling their weight. If o can afford it, I buy it. And the kids go to their dads and I get a complete break 🙏🏼😁