Hi all,
I wanted some advice from an outside perspective in relation to a dating experience.
I met a guy online after 12 months of being single and having a really awful breakup last year (he left me for someone else a few months before we planned to marry).
Myself and the new guy chatted back and forth, he did sometimes seem like he wasn't hugely enthusiastic at the start but I persevered as sometimes people can come across differently via text. He has never been a great texter and we have gone days without talking. I'd say its around 60:40 with me initiating more chats. He always texts straight back though and asks questions. It just doesn't seem to go on for long and he doesn't appear that warm.
He is 33 and I am 35 years old.
We exchanged numbers and spoke every few days, just general chit chat. He suggested meeting up for a walk and I said perhaps when beer gardens open we could go for a drink which he agreed to. He bought the subject up a few times asking when we would be meeting. Anyway, we have some mutual friends, he made the cheeky suggestion that he would make his garden into a beer garden and asked me to pick a date as it would be ready for me whenever. He told me on a few occasions that he was very much looking forward to meeting me.
I went to his last week one evening and he made me some food and we had a drink. Date lasted around 4 hours. We chatted about our families, our relationship breakdowns (he was with someone for 8 years and married for 2 and she left him for someone else). They are currently in the process of selling their home. They have been separated around 10 months. We have loads in common. Our family backgrounds, mutual friends, outlook and ambitions for the future, mutual attraction, morals, values etc. He asked me if I wanted children, which I told him I did, he agreed he does too. I asked him if he is ready to be single, he was adamant that he is ready.
On the whole, we laughed, discussed in depth things, communicated well and had a little peck on the lips at the end of the date. Lots of eye contact. I am very attracted to him. I think he is me too.
Whilst we were on the date, he suggested us going on a second date (if I wanted) which I told him I did. He said he did too. He told me that he had a good feeling about us. He also mentioned that he had told his mum about me going to his.
He appears very genuine, kind and honest. He does not strike me as any sort of play boy (met a lot of those in the last 12 months). He seems a little shy and perhaps new to the dating game is the reason. He advised that he does not like the online dating world as he isn't a fan of texting and finds it a bit dull. He prefers to meet in person.
I text him when I got home, thanking him for a lovely night, he said he had a nice time too.
Anyway, he messaged me the following say asking how my day was (this was on Wednesday). We chatted about our days and then it ended naturally.
Since then, I've heard nothing from him. I would have thought he may have suggested a second date by now if he were interested? Could it be that he is shy? Should I suggest something for next weekend perhaps? He indicated that he wanted a date and I was receptive. I have made it clear that I like him.
I know that no one can read his mind or know his situation but I was hoping for some advice on how to play this one as I have been rubbish at this whole online dating thing, playing it cool and being ghosted etc. I have had a lot of rejection over the past 12 months, that coupled with my fiance leaving me for someone else has not helped my confidence levels.
I have been working on myself, getting into good shape, reading self help books, seeing friends and being very busy. I have been doing well at work redecorated my home. I feel I am now in a good place to meet someone and have a happy, lasting relationship.
Do I play it cool, or should I be honest and say I'd like to see him again? He is very much the best person I have dated since being single and appears to be a good match for me. I'd love to get to know him more.
Thanks in advance.