'Nicer' now we're divorced!?!?

[JellyNump]

My divorce came thru in August, which was fairly quick as I'd filed for it in March/April. Basically ExH had admitted to adultery so it was fairly straight forward. He occasionally sees 18 month DD when he can 'fit it in'. Only thing is he seems 'nicer' now we've split up. I'm glad it happened cos he was a right b*stard when we were together and said some extremely cruel things relating to the death of DS. I really don't want to get back with him but I don't want him to think he has a chance. I suppose its better for us to be civil because of DD, although sometimes I wonder if the 'novelty' will wear off and he'll eventually not visit and whether it would be best for him to stop now when she's so young!?
Anyone else experienced this? He also wants to give me a hug when he sees me cos thats what 'friends' do. I'm not really sure what i'm supposed to do and dont want to cause anymore arguements or anything

I have a Lois, lovely name. I was so sorry to read that you have lost your ds, I just can't imagine how you coped.
I do know what you mean, dd's dad and I split when I was pregnant and when she was a baby I could of quite easily jumped in to bed with him, this sounds a daft suggestion, but when ever he came around to visit dd I would iron, or have a bath, anything but be in the same room as them, because a) it hurt he had cheated and b) I new it would hurt more if we felt like a family. Please don't let him hug you, he chose to cheat, you divorced! I'm sure you don't hug your female friends every time you see them, and you probably don't hug your sibs every time you see them, don't hug him as it will end up hurting you.

I don't really want to hug him. It makes me feel awkward. He phones sometimes for a 'caht' and tbh its easier to answer and let him chat than not to answer, cos he tries to phone or text to get a response. It sounds weird but I dont want to hurt his feelings. I think its cos I've been hurt by him I dont really want to upset him in anyway but sometimes I wish he'd leave us alone so we can cut ties etc

Oh, I see, I really would iron then if I was in your shoes, (sorry but my life revolves around ironing .. shoot, I've gone mad) that way he will not be able to hug you, unless he feels like hugging you and the iron. When he is ready to go, you could say, 'you let your self out, I have to get on with ...'

I moved back in with Mum and Dad, he isn't allowed in to the house! Which means we go to the park or for a walk with DD. I'm not keen to leave him with her alone as when we were together he had her for the day and she was filthy when I got hime and he obviously hadn't changed her

Hmm, well could you do the crossword ... anything so that physical contact could be limited, whilst not insulting him. He is trying to have his cake and eat it as far as I can see, DD's dad did this, he was inadvertantly playing with my brain. Trying to be friendly my arse, he wants you to still love him. Gosh that was harsh, sorry.

I don't love him anymore and i'm glad now we're apart! I also found out he is living with the '2nd affair'. I have said on NO CIRCUMSTANCES do I want dd to go to his flat where 'she' is. He says they are not in a relationship and that she is just joint tennant on the paperwork!?!?!? I think this all sounds like sh*t but I don't want to leave him with dd on his own yet I feel a bit like if i'm there he thinks we're friends and i'm 'ok' with his living arrangements, which arent my business but i'm not ok with, I think its just insulting.