Hello all
Long story story, my boyfriend of 2 years suddenly became very distant. He acted miserable 24/7, and like I was inconveniencing him whenever I tried to make contact. We are both 23.
He was (and remains) negative about everything. For 7 months now. I tried to leave him a few weeks ago, after lockdown totally highlighted his lack of will to make any effort with me. I thought I was strong enough to call it quits, but once again I was sucked into his emotional manipulation, his crocodile tears and his "I am nothing without you" speil. I feel so angry and annoyed at myself for this. Once I plucked the courage to leave, I gave into it all, and now I am stuck with him - again.
Naturally whilst he isn't showing me the attention or affection that a boyfriend should, my eyes have been elsewhere and somebody has come into the scene who has shown me more interest, value and respect in 2 months than my boyfriend has at all over the 2 years. We have everything in common. He makes me laugh until my tummy hurts, he hits the perfect balance of showing interest in me but also giving me my personal space.
I feel ridden with guilt, as I am having an emotional affair, but I know that this new guy is something special, and has the potential to be something amazing.
I know that I have mentally and emotionally "checked out" of my relationship, but I guess I am just scared of the emotional games that will come as a result of ending it.
I guess I just need to hear that I'm not a bad person for this, and that I just need to grow a pair once and for all the call it quits with BF and not get sucked into his emotional manipulation once and for all.
I just want to be happy, and life a happy and guilt-free life as any 23 y/o should be able to do. Why am I so weak? 😔
Has anyone else been here? Any advice or tips or support? Tia x