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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice please...

2 replies

shakiwulub9 · 27/06/2020 11:56

Hello all

Long story story, my boyfriend of 2 years suddenly became very distant. He acted miserable 24/7, and like I was inconveniencing him whenever I tried to make contact. We are both 23.
He was (and remains) negative about everything. For 7 months now. I tried to leave him a few weeks ago, after lockdown totally highlighted his lack of will to make any effort with me. I thought I was strong enough to call it quits, but once again I was sucked into his emotional manipulation, his crocodile tears and his "I am nothing without you" speil. I feel so angry and annoyed at myself for this. Once I plucked the courage to leave, I gave into it all, and now I am stuck with him - again.

Naturally whilst he isn't showing me the attention or affection that a boyfriend should, my eyes have been elsewhere and somebody has come into the scene who has shown me more interest, value and respect in 2 months than my boyfriend has at all over the 2 years. We have everything in common. He makes me laugh until my tummy hurts, he hits the perfect balance of showing interest in me but also giving me my personal space.

I feel ridden with guilt, as I am having an emotional affair, but I know that this new guy is something special, and has the potential to be something amazing.

I know that I have mentally and emotionally "checked out" of my relationship, but I guess I am just scared of the emotional games that will come as a result of ending it.

I guess I just need to hear that I'm not a bad person for this, and that I just need to grow a pair once and for all the call it quits with BF and not get sucked into his emotional manipulation once and for all.

I just want to be happy, and life a happy and guilt-free life as any 23 y/o should be able to do. Why am I so weak? 😔

Has anyone else been here? Any advice or tips or support? Tia x

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 27/06/2020 12:04

The only advice you need is to dump your boyfriend and then block him immediately. The relationship is over, so let it be over. I think 2 years is enough time wasted, don't you?

JustC · 27/06/2020 12:14

End your relationship and get on with the rest og your life. You might not be a bad person overall, but having an EA is obviously not a nice thing.

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