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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Using the bathroom

42 replies

MrsB12345 · 25/06/2020 12:52

Does anyone else's partner get upset when they need to use the bathroom? It seems stupid to even be asking...

I needed a no 2 today and my husband was making our lunch. I'd been BFing our daughter and then said I needed a poop. He got really upset and said I always pick the worst times to go and end up taking ages (I don't usually except for the odd time where I want some alone time and it's the only place I can go for that)

Surely if I need to go I shouldn't feel I can't or have to hold it to a time that suits him better. Or have I completely misunderstood how things should work and his request is in fact ok to ask?!

For the record I never complain when he uses the bathroom

OP posts:
bluebluezoo · 25/06/2020 16:23

I don’t know.

I actually do get a bit pissed of at dh. I’ll be juggling 5 things, dinner, children etc, and he’ll piss off to sit on the bog with his book, reappearing when it’s all done.

I sit on the loo for 3 seconds and someone comes looking for me.

When you say sometimes you take ages because it’s the only place you can get alone time, does he know that? Or does he think taking a while is normal?

It is a bit odd to sit in the loo when you need alone time. There are many nicer things you can do!

backseatcookers · 25/06/2020 16:50

Like a PP I advance searched because I assumed poo troll (which you're not!) so saw your other thread. If this is the same guy you posted about in 2017, he's still a tosser and a selfish prick. Not a healthy relationship at all, you deserve more.

2bazookas · 25/06/2020 16:59

Why on earth do you bother to tell him in advance? Just go and do it.
No need to tell him afterwards, either.

rbe78 · 25/06/2020 17:03

Wow, a lot of strong reactions here! Obviously if he's controlling your behaviour that's not on. but honestly, my DH always seems to choose deeply inconvenient times to go to the loo too. Like just as I'm plating up dinner, so it's then left going cold, or when we're rushing out of the door, so then we're both late and I'm left standing around with my coat on. We're all adults, surely we have some control over our waste functions?!

Ohnoherewego62 · 25/06/2020 17:08

@bluebluezoo!! Amen for you!

I totally get it! I've been there and been accused of xyz when I asked why was it everytime something was needing doing, he'd disappear for the loo. (For years it would seem Hmm)

As OP said, sometimes she goes there for alone time. Which is weird in itself. Surely you can just day you're going to sit outside for half hour. Are you afraid of him?

MashedSpud · 25/06/2020 17:11

So what if your lunch goes cold....you’re eating it not him.

Tell him to fuck himself.

PumpkinP · 25/06/2020 18:43

I assumed it was because she wanted him to watch the baby for 2 mins.

Errrrm do people actually need to watch babies for someone to go to the toilet?? I was a single parent and just got on with it, you don’t have to watch a baby 24/7. I also didn’t take them with me.

NoMoreDickheads · 25/06/2020 18:59

Pumpkin- I don't have kids and always thought that, but from reading MN I've read quite a few posts where people mention they don't feel they can leave their kid for a moment without someone to mind them.

PumpkinP · 25/06/2020 19:01

Well then none of them are single parents by the sounds of it, hate to think what they do whilst their partners are at work. Must be horrible being so anxious.

iwilltaketwoplease · 25/06/2020 20:07

That's so weird.

MrsB12345 · 25/06/2020 23:38

Thank you for all of your comments. My husband apologised for his behaviour once I came downstairs and acknowledged he was being unreasonable. We have a lot on at the moment and he was stressed about that.

OP posts:
SerendipitySunshine · 25/06/2020 23:53

Oh no! I think I do this. My DH disappears to the bathroom for 45 minutes at the worst times (usually just as dinner is ready or we are due to leave to get somewhere or it's his turn to do a chore) and I have told him to time his poos better. I am being unfair aren't I?

RLEOM · 26/06/2020 00:26

I'd brush it off as nit picking. Maybe you do chose awkward times sometimes and it bugs him and he was vocal about it. But damn, if you've got to go, you've got to go! 😂

pinkyredrose · 26/06/2020 09:10

Having read another thread of yours I think your main problem is that you're married to an arsehole.

Are you sure you want to be with him?

Bluntness100 · 26/06/2020 09:13

This is just very odd but if you pick difficult times and just go and sit in there, to get alone time, them he may have thought that’s what you were doing.

Do you do that. Just go and sit in the loo?

crimsonlake · 26/06/2020 09:46

I agree the issue here could be more about the fact the meal would be cold.
However I do not understand why you would go in to detail about why you need the toilet?? I prefer to keep my bodily functions private.

Sunshineandflipflops · 26/06/2020 10:21

My bf insists on announcing to me when he is going to 'use the bathroom' and it annoys me. Mostly because he goes about 10 times a a day but also because I really don't need to know. Likewise I don't announce my bodily functions to him or anyone else!

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