*@bluebluezoo, could you give more background.. assume your partner disagrees with you, what do you do? If you go quiet but explain you need time than that is fine. It isn't acceptable to keep your partner in the dark or prolong quiet time, because that is sulking ,especially if life has to go on..looking after children, cooking etc. If you are quiet to everyone that is also less problematic than just singling out your partner.
Emotions have to be processed in a healthy way and communication in relationships is like blood in the human body. If it stops flowing then there will be relationship "death". Your need for processing doesn't trump your partners need for communication and conflict resolution*
You misunderstand. It’s not so much my partner, tbh, he gets it. We can have disagreements, air things out. If I’m upset I can tell him why.
Once everything’s said I need a bit of quiet time to process - i can’t just switch from sad/angry/upset back to normal.
It was more my mum. I was never allowed an opinion. She was old school “stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about”.
As a teenager if I was upset or disagreed with anything there was no conversation, confrontation was bad, I should just do what the adult said. Therefore if I was upset I’d need to go to my room and have a cry and sort my own emotions out. And swear I’d never try to tell them how I was feeling again.
I’d need to go and have a sulk.
After I was told to stop being upset I was expected to switch on a smile and be happy. I can’t do that.
I was sulky.
There’d be a big drama about leaving me alone to sulk without ever addressing the issue.
30 years later and I still have the “sulker” label within my family.
In a way it was also self productive- because I felt I couldn’t speak up I supressed my emotions - so “sulking” also became when I was upset or whatever but couldn’t communicate that, so i’d go quiet until the feelings subsided.
See also “moody” or “hormonal”.