Dating men who take hours to reply to messages after READING them?!

[katiie3]

Hi everyone

What are your thoughts on men who you are seeing/dating who will open and read your message but take hours to reply.

And many times, appear to be online but do not actively open your message or reply until hours later.

This is aimed towards people that actively use their WhatsApp all day but don’t reply back to your messages until hours later.

By this time the moment has passed and I’m not longer feeling as invested to carry on the conversation from 3 days ago.

For example, on some occasions, I will send a message during my lunch to catch up and I don’t get a reply until late evening 8/9pm or the next morning.

Is this low interest?

I think it depends on whether he is like this with everyone or just with you. A good friend of mine can take easily a week to reply to messages. He hates mobile phones and will only use his if he absolutely has to. But the thing is that he is like this with absolutely everyone. If you want to contact him quickly, you have to email. Everyone knows this. Do you know if he is equally slow with everyone?

Secondly, there is the challenge of getting to know someone like that. Are you okay with someone who is so slow to respond? Are there other ways you can get to know each other?

I don’t think he’s that into you or he may just be busy. Possibly with other messages from women he’s more into?

So does that mean that he, a stranger you basically don’t know at all, has your address in order to post a figurine you’ve paid for out to you?

Fair enough if it’s a relative, just making sure you’re being careful about your personal details of the house you stay alone in.

Sorry if that sounds cheeky, just stay safe OP. There are a lot of weirdos out there.

@elieza. He is friends with my cousin so we are familiar within the same social circle.

I wouldnt like that. If you put out a "bid" to connect and it's ignored, thatcwouldnt be for me. I have tried to push water up hill too many times.
Presumably you know when he is working, but still feel he is keeping you at the distance you're at by not responding quickly enough to make you feel safe/connected.

I would take all the eggs out of his basket. Whatever the reason, this isn't how I would want someone to be with me in a relationship. Once or twice, every now and then, fine. But consistently its just annoying

I use what's app for work a lot so will have a lot of unread messages and be online. Or open messages on the go and reply later.

If you feel that he may not be interested then don't waste too much energy worrying. If he wants to make the effort he will x

He works in a bank so I don’t think he would be using his personal phone (personal number) for work purposes or that I am aware of.

Best thing I ever did when I was dating was turn off the settings on WhatsApp that allow you to see when people were last online (and them see yours). So much pointless stress avoided.

It’s rude and he’s not that into you. Takes two seconds to reply to w text.

I dated a man who never did anything to secure a connection in between dates. If id had more confidence in myself i would have ended it because it wasnt meeting my needs (and before he dumped me because he wasnt that in to me)

100 percent don't bother with them these men don't reply because they are talking to loads of other women and also your just a fall
Back . If they are interested they would reply

I sent an angry text to dump my (now) DH during the early weeks of our dating phase because he was taking ages to respond to texts. I felt he was being rude and not really interested. He apologised, had no idea there was a problem and changed his communication approach to keep me feeling connected between dates. Together over ten years now and very happy. Perhaps your guy is not a texter by nature. You need to find out in order to determine if he is actually interested in you.

Your not a priority. Hes not interested.

I think this may be an introvert thing (or maybe just a me thing) but I do this all the time. It's much easier to read a message than it is to formulate a reply. I'll usually wait until I have a bit more downtime to respond. Sometimes I'll forget and end up responding a few days later.
I usually try not to open the message in the app to avoid responses like yours OP, but I don't really think I should have to and I don't really feel any way about it if someone does it to me. It really not a guage of how much I like someone.

When men do it to me it doesn't last long that's for sure. It's clear your not important and all the excuses are just that.

One guy did it while we were arranging to meet, so when he finally got in touch I replied' oh sorry I took that you weren't interested so I've made other plans' he was so pissed.
My time isn't to be wasted on waiting for someone else.

People are quick to respond when they want or need something.

OP, do you expect everyone in your life to jump to attention and respond to you immediately, do you have a stop-watch going?
Unless it's life or death, what's the hurry?