I can’t forget him.

[Foreverholdingon]

I will start of by saying I’m very inexperienced with relationships and I know I’m being absolutely immature and ridiculous.

I’m divorced 4 years, was with my husband for 15 years. When we divorced I wasn’t looking for anyone else, s I got married very young, I decided to just have fun wit my friends, concentrate on myself build up my career etc. I had ample opportunity to have dates with other guys but there was none that I was interested in until Christmas.

I was out with my friends and started chatting to this guy and I just really liked him from the start. He gave me all the patter “your lovely, i could fall In love with you!!!” He told me he was divorced. Now normally I would have been like oh piss off, but for some reason I wasn’t. He asked for my number at the end of the night which I gave him.
One of my friends which was with me that night got chatting to his friend, and they added each other on social media, so my friend looked at his friends list, saw the guy I was chatting with and showed me is profile.....yip you’ve guessed it married, pics of him and his wife all over the place and he is defo not single, I even checked his wife’s social media and she has pics of the both of them on there too

I was gutted and said if he called me I would tell him to piss off, of course he never called me and I certainly haven’t tried to contact him. He will know that his friend has been chatting to my friend and he hasn’t blocked me on social media and for some reason (and I don’t know why, but I can’t stop thinking about him). It’s ridiculous, I feel stupid.
I don’t know if it’s just being in lockdown but I think about him all the time.

Just thought I would vent so you lovely people can Give me a virtual kick up the backside Lol

We did have a little kiss as well so he did technically cheat on his wife (but as I said I didn’t know he was married), well it was actually a full blown snog with tongues.

God I feel so stupid, gullible, daft, angry for still thinking about him, and rotten for his wife.

I'm sorry , you liked him. You were excited about meeting him... And he turned out to be a complete arsehole. It's easy to say you dodged a bullet ( you totally did). Or at least your not his poor wife ( you are lucky). Or at least you didn't waste more time on him than you did....

You got a little over invested because you thought he was lovely , now you might be worrying about your judgement and you might be thinking everyone is a lying twat.

Your judgement will be fine , just don't let anyone get under your skin until they prove they deserve to be there and there are a lot of good guys out there, not all complete tossers like he was

I'm sorry. Its rotten .b

Thank you.

Do you know the most annoying thing, And I’m warped way of thinking I’ve even thought to myself why didn’t he phone me, was it something about me, did he just snog me and Say those things for a joke, was he dared to come and chat and snog me!!!!

I can’t believe I’m even thinking like that but honestly if he did call me I would have told him to fuck off, that’s why my ex and I split because he was cheating on me!!!

I think I’m just thinking the things because iv only ever been with my ex, ive never been with anyone else so don’t have any experience with guys.

It wasn't anything like that , he kissed you because he wanted to kiss you , he was nice to you because he wanted to be nice to you.

It's just , for men like that , they can compartmentalise very easily, they can just live in that moment. Telling you a lie so you like him is worth it . He probably love bombed you a tiny little bit to get the full experience with you. The thing is, none of it was real , none of what he gave you was real.

But he still sought to be with you because , in that time he wanted you . And other men will want you just as much. Just they will be honest and free and not a lying wanker like he was.

The fact he liked you wasn't a lie.

Thank you SerendipityiFOnly I feel a little bit better, I just need to try and forget him

Don’t beat yourself up op.

What a wanker huh

I think you are putting too much emphasis on it. He was a random man on a night out who probably pl anned to cheat on his wife but had cold feet, best not to kiss random men on nights out.

If he’s your first kiss since divorce then he probably meant more as you were thinking wow this could turn into a date etc...
And then it didn’t as he’s a twotiming ratbag.
You’ll get over him soon, don’t worry, someone else will catch your eye in due course.

Thank you Elieza yes he was my first kiss since my divorce and my 2nd kiss ever as I said I’ve only ever been with my husband.

Rather than thinking that it was a mistake, could you rather think that this was the start of a new journey, learning about dating and finding out how different men make you feel? So make it an event where you discovered something about yourself and something to explore, rather than a man who turned out disappointing.