Should I put and end to this?

[Susanxo]

Hi everyone, the issue that I am having is that my bf has not told any of his dead ex wife ( she died last year in july) friends or people that he knows in common with her that I exist and that I am his girlfriend , yesterday I told him about it, because every time that a person that was a friend of his ex wife calls him ( besides the fact that he inherited her house and sone other belongings) he just leaves the room or tells me to not speak, and the same thing happened with her when she was still alive. She did not know I existed.

Because according to him it would be too painful for her , cause apparently their divorce was hard ( she was the one who took that decision, even though she was still into him), their marriage was a hot mess, and I am way younger than her.

So my question is, am I entitled to demand him to let these people know that I am his GIRLFRIEND! That I exist and that is extremely normal for him to have a girlfriend when they have been divorced for almost 8 years now.( no kids in the way, and the fact that he is not CASTRATED)

I need your most honest opinion, what is up with this, he told me he had already explain to me why, honestly I don’t even remember that explanation, but he sure did not refresh my mind yesterday.

How long have you been together as boyfriend and girlfriend? I think that makes a difference to whether or not he should have told people/be telling people about you. Also, even though he and his wife had been divorced for 8 years, he may well still be grieving her death and he may feel conflicted that he inherited her house when he was no longer with her. Inheriting someone's house is pretty major.

Sorry... Your boyfriend got divorced 8 years ago, his ex wife died last year and people think that he is widowed ? Nobody knows that you exist ?

How long have you been together? What age are you , and what age is he?

I think this relationship sounds complicated

Hi there, all of his friends from childhood, family and work friends now about me and have met me.

I am 31, he is 47, it’s only his ex wife friends, who he happens to know as well to which he has not told about ne and that he has been with me for 2 years and a half.

It sounds strange that he inherited her house. Has she no other relatives? Maybe he had to keep you a secret to inherit the house.

He's quite a bit older than you. Do you want kids?

As you’ve been together for 2.5 years and them divorced for 8 years, I think he’s just actively deceiving her friends/family at this point. Why would they hold a grudge against him dating someone new at this point? It’s strange

Hmm, so he kept his ex in the dark, he's keeping her friends in the dark and there are likely things he keeps from you - like the reason for it. This is a man who manipulates things to his advantage by keeping women in the dark maybe. I'd bet it's tied to the house, pretty unusual to be left one by an ex, unless they believed that they were still loved, hence better to not mention you.
He's inherited now, so mission accomplished and his family and friends may as well know. However, her friends will know how she felt about him, they will know the things he said and did to ensure the house was left to him, then knowing how long you have been on the scene, they will understand the lies he's told and will perhaps be very angry about that. That's my guess anyway, makes sense.

Hm. I suspect he knew he wouldn't be getting the house if she knew about you. And now he can't fess up, because all her friends will realise he was dating and not telling her, because he was afraid he wouldn't get the house.....

Hi, well she had nobody, sad but true, all of her brothers died, plus mom and dad etc, I do want kids, and trust me it’s a battle with this whole topic, he says he does wants kids and get married but for some reason it does not convince me.

By the way mow that you mention it, since he is still with his lawyer working out some things about the will, the house is already under his name, but the lawyer is still resolving some things of the testament.

My question is if they all know about me, about the fact that he has a girlfriend etc, can this affect the inheritance?, him being the will keeper and owner?

So all his main people know about you then?

It's a segment of people from his former life that don't. Well leave him or stop whining. You know most of his people the ex wife is dead she isn't a threat to you. Maybe he has been up to something dodgy I don't know. You should. So if you aren't happy just leave him. If you don't mind and fancy a portion of the house, crack on! Gosh I thought from your first post he had you hidden in the basement and then you say you've met all everyone else!! No chill at all

You're 31 and you want children, yet you're with a 47 year old man who hides your very existence and appears to be bizarrely and inconsistently emotionally unavailable. He is future faking you. Believe his actions, not his words. Move on before you waste your fertile years on him.

You're 31 and you want children, yet you're with a 47 year old man who hides your very existence and appears to be bizarrely and inconsistently emotionally unavailable. He is future faking you. Believe his actions, not his words. Move on before you waste your fertile years on him.

So, so much this.

OP what do you want more, children or this man?

It's that simple at this point I'm afraid.

Whatever is going on with him, it says nothing good about him or how he sees your relationship.

You want children. Cut him loose and find a better father for them. He's either shifty/mercenary/dishonest as fuck or not committed - whatever it is, it's poor character and it will come back on you. You can do better.