Letting go of a fledgling relationship

[orchardlover]

It cannot be at present. There is no bad blood, just impossible right now. We may reconnect but not for the foreseeable future.
Any tips to' let go' please? I am terribly sad as it had great potential after healing for some time after an historic abusive relationship.thank you.

Bump if ok .

Anyone there with this experience please!

Clean break is best. Explain. Then block and delete his number
End of

I would find that so hard in view of there being a possibility of a reconnection at some
Point.
Mentally I am finding it hard to let go and be realistic about the impossibility Of a relationship right now but thanks for suggestion.I am not ready for that.

It’s hard to give you advice without any information on the relationship and why you think it’s impossible now but could be possible in the future.

Agree clean break. Not sure I’m convinced about the impossibility now but possible in the future. If you were both equally into each other, you could still maintain a relationship.

He has lost a child. He is tormented with grief and everything that comes with that.
A brands new relationship is bottom of his priorities right now naturally.

Did he just lose his child?
Or did you just find out that he had lost a child?

If this is a very new relationship, and he just disclosed this to you, then why are you so attached?
If that is the case, then you say " I'm so sorry for your loss, I can't imagine the pain you are going through. I feel that now isn't the time to embark on a relationship. I do wish you all the best" .

Is he looking for an emotional crutch?

His loss was recent . Since we met . He is not wanting an emotional crutch. He is doing the opposite in that he is ignnoring me which I understand. It is over . How to move on as it is shocking and heart wrenching to no t
know if he is coping. I feel bereft too.

How long were you together?

One month.

I don’t see that you have to do anything more than what you’ve probably done ie express your sympathy. Emotionally he’s not ‘there’ for you at present. He can’t sustain a relatively new relationship whilst as you say he is ‘tormented with grief’. At some point he may be, if this to be, it will be, just not at the moment.

You Have to leave him to do his grieving. Clean break. Treat it as a break up and move on. You don’t need to keep on checking on him.

Don’t wait on him, if it’s meant to be, you will be reunited in the future but it would probably come from him

Thanks.I won't check on him. Thanks. I
Can only send out prayers I guess.

I think you have to assume it won’t happen. You have to tell yourself that this man is gone out your life. It may take him years to recover from this loss. You barely know him and cannot support him. Any relationship he embarked on with you is unlikely to be healthy.

I think you should treat this like any break up...or indeed, just a few dates that hasn’t gone anywhere.

Yes but I find that hard tbh. Rationally I know it's the right thing to do and I will do it thanks. It's tough when
You care about someone and it was intense and exciting.Now there is
Nothing and you know they are in the depths of hell and you can't support because your support isn't wanted.

Just be really honest and genuine. Talk to him face to face, explain you care about him and hope to rekindle things after he's had time to come to terms with his bereavement. Remember to be very kind.

I will. I have been very sensitive and kind and offered support but he has completely shut down. I may not get the opportunity to talk with him. He has left me unread for days.

I doubt it could be exciting for him if he's suffering the loss of his child OP.

You need to create separation and not hold onto him returning. It's way too intense and too soon to carry out a relationship after such a terrible loss so recently. If you've only known him 4 weeks it's a bit much.

I have no expectation whatsoever . I want to let go but I don't want to be a bitch either. This is what he wants too.

You are not being a bitch. You have sent messages of kindness and support - he has chosen not to read them. That's understandable. The loss of a child is utterly devastating - there is no greater loss and he may never again be that exciting person you were having fun with. He will be a changed person.

All you can do is say that you are there if he needs you, he doesn't need to reply, but you are thinking of him and then leave him be.

You will get over this relatively short relationship - probably quite quickly once you let it go - but it will take him years to get over the terrible loss of a child ... if indeed he ever does.

Have you actually met him?

Thanks. I understand that. It's just so so shocking. Of course I have met him. Need to say good bye and pray.

It's been a month.
In lockdown....?
It's terrible for him, but all you can do is offer condolences, and leave him be.
I think you're making a bit of a drama out of this.

You've lost the hope you had for the relationship- nothing more.
Please don't make things worse for him by making some big declaration of ' letting him go'

Ok thank you .