Hello everyone,
I hope that you are all well, I know how hard recent times have been.
I was with my ex for 5 years, the final year was very hard. We had lived together for 3 and a half years, owned a home and were engaged. We broke up at the end of last August, but I didn't move out until the end of October.
I can't help but since then, he's just played me along and I do not know how to learn to let go full, whilst I can't get any answers (which I know I am not entitled to!).
In December we spoke after new year, as I told him I was thinking of him on his granddads anniversary. He text back later that evening, I apologised and said I knew it was just after new year and he said he had been away with a group and to not apologise. He said he’d been going on dates but realised it was just a band aid and he wasn’t ready. In Feb he again stated he hadn’t been dating in months. Mid march we spoke after my mum had asked him for some tax letters on my behalf. He told my mum it was a shame that I did not reach out or have the ability to and that after so long it would have been the first main part of good contact and he was so sad with how things had turned out as he didn’t think they should or would have and he hoped to bump into me. I rang him to say I wasn’t being offensive going through my mum, but I felt it was the best way.
He then told me he was dating someone and was happy. He wasn’t looking for her, but she ‘fell on his lap’ and they started talking on a night out and it was going well, she was his source of happiness. That noone had met her, but would if it was right and he wasn’t sure whether it would go anywhere. He then asked if it was ok to message me on my birthday. The last time we spoke was in April when I rang to check that he was ok with everything going on, he told me he appreciated it and that we should meet up soon. He asked me to leave things on a nice note as we argued sometimes and that I should leave a nice door open for communication in the future for him to reach out and add him on social media for him to accept when he felt it was right. Since then I have learnt he has lost a big, high flying job.
I knew in my heart he wasn’t interested, but 5 years I couldn’t just turn off. However, I now feel like an absolute idiot. He has been with someone since last November, 4 weeks after I moved out and was on general dates 2 weeks after I left. He met a girl on a stag do. They went on holiday abroad over new year despite what he told me. He has been with her the whole time and now ghosted me since I text him to ask why I could get no honesty. He is now looking to move from London to Dubai to live there, where she is for work.
I just don’t know why I wasn’t worth the truth, why he lied, why he was so bothered about me being nice or leaving a door open and sadly he won’t give me the answers so I’m hoping someone can help me to make sense of it all as I am mentally struggling.