Bullshit nice guy responses

[PlightOfTheConchords]

Help me out here!

I broke up with someone. It was casual, I was getting too attached, he let me down again and was very flippant about when I’d see him next so I ended it.

The responses though:

‘I’d love it if we could be friends.’ ‘I care so much about you.’ ‘I hold you in high regard.’ ‘I’ve enjoyed every moment with you’ etc.

Why the fuck do they do it? It actually just makes me feel worse because now I’m like - should we be friends? I’d rather someone was just ‘sorry to hear that, take care’.

Have you had that before? It’s a damn sight nicer than being ghosted (I’ve had that too) but it’s pretty crap. I feel like I’ve been gently let down twice since I broke up with him! It’s shit!

You need to look after yourself by simply saying 'I have plenty of friends but thanks. Take care and all the best.' Then block and allow yourself to move on.
Anything else and you're setting yourself up for misery.

Gnome is spot on.

He's doing this purely so he can feel like a better guy than he really is. Don't get sucked in- it's a waste of your time to hang around validating a persona he wants to create.

He’s hoping you’ll still be receptive when he gets horny or bored. Don’t let him!

Agree with thirty. He isnt a nice guy. He is essentially saying 'But I want to keep seeing you on my terms'. Hoping he will still get a sh*g every nown and again likely.

A nice guy would have respected your decision.

He's slime.
Just wants to keep you on the back burner as a FWB if required.

Well done for having boundaries.👏
You are well out of it.👍

It shouldn't MAKE you feel anything you don't want.

This is your life and you have who you want in it

Thanks, I thought so and I don’t think he’s worth dwelling on. I have blocked him now.

But it’s annoying! I didn’t want more - I think my feelings only ramped up because I’ve been lonely during lockdown. He made a great casual in person - always feeds me, spends the night and doesn’t hop out at 3am, a lot of fun, very considerate. I only wanted him to make plans. Idiot!

‘I’d love it if we could be friends.’ ‘I care so much about you.’ ‘I hold you in high regard.’ ‘I’ve enjoyed every moment with you’ etc. Why the fuck do they do it?

They do it to try and keep you as a potential shag if they want one off you in future.

I have blocked him now.

Well done. xxx

I only wanted him to make plans. Idiot!

But where's the fun in that as opposed to treating you mean/craply when he feels like it and you letting him get away with it? It amuses some guys.

Good for you, not allowing yourself to be treated badly. I didn;t, and as a result dealt with bullshit from stbxh of over 20 years- "We'll still be friends won't we?"
Translation - "Even though you're leaving me because I am an abusive narcissist, please don't tell anyone what I'm really like, because we are 'friends'..."
Even came right out and said to let him know if I was up for FWB
See also "I just want you and the kids to feel safe" - November 2019 vs. "Yeah, I need us to sell the family home because I need the money" - March 2020