Is it weird to ask if he wants a coffee?

[Bunchofbarnacles]

I bumped into (at 2m away!) someone I met a few times a couple of years ago, we chatted for a few minutes. I almost asked if he fancied a coffee some time but didn't. I'm considering emailing him a week later to ask? It seems like it would have been casual if I had asked at the time or immediately after, but a week later is different.
I get that I have made this seem a big deal but it is very much out of my comfort zone!

I would , what have you got to lose?

Just say it was good to bump into him and if he fancies a coffee and a proper catch up that would be nice. Just a couple of sentences . Nice and casual. I, for one, would love someone to email me that as a friend so you can always go down that route if it doesn't go anywhere .

Part of the wondering if it's ok is that I don't know that he is single, and even if he is I'm not suggesting a date, will he think I am.

I think I'd maybe just find him and add him on social media if he has it, then you can find out if he's taken and interact a bit before just asking (essentially a bit of a randomer) for coffee, albeit the worst that can happen he says no or ignores it.

How do you have his email address?

Well , you don't know if he is single and that's okay. He might email back something like , yeah that would be good , my girlfriend loves coffee , we can all go sometime? I think that that's the worst that can happen really. You would know by now if he's not nice.

Sometimes we have to be brave. Write it as if you were writing to a female friend, casual but put the idea out there. If he likes you he will pick up on the offer and if he can't take you up on it he will be polite to you.

We met at organised events with our children so I have his email address. I'm not on social media.

So you have the kids in common and the event , but he's not with his kids mum? You just don't know if he's single?

I would go for it . But I have been known to be a little bit reckless , never regretted anything I did though . Just write it to the audience of "a friend"

No harm in asking. Worst he can do is say no.

If I’m honest if a bloke sent me a text like that I’d assume he was interested in me. Nothing wrong with that of course but I’m just saying he might think it’s a date no matter how light and casual you word it

Well yes , but the idea is she can always pretend that it was just an offer made of friendship. An offer of a coffee is a lot lighter than a drink or a meal. Kind of "if you're up for it then good but I'm not hugely invested here" .... And the alternative is that she might not see him again.. .

What about “ Hi X, it was nice to chatting with you last week. I’ve made a promise to myself after lockdown to make an effort to meet up with friends more. Wondered if you fancied meeting for a coffee sometime...when we can?! “

I don't know him well enough to suggest we are catching up as friends.

I think I'm partly worried because I don't know whether I fancy him or not, if he says yes and then I have to meet him for a date...I don't know whether that is worse than if he says no.

I'll never get anywhere without a bit of courage! You are right I need to be brave.

All you have to know is that you would like to meet up for coffee , and that's pretty much all you have to say. If he says yes or no, if it goes well or badly... It's all just life, and we are much better off being in the game than out

Let us know when you send the email..... I'm getting invested now ....

What about emailing something like ..

It was good bumping into you last week, the last few months have shown me how much I miss just talking to people . It got me thinking anyway, would you like to meet up for a coffee and a proper catch up some time? Let me know if that's something you would be up for.

(Finish off with something about your kids)event/etc.

Mrs Grindahs suggestion was also good , just trying to take into consideration that you're not really friends at the moment , just friendly acquaintances?

I think I will email and will update if I do but can't guarantee sorry! Taking children out, will mull it over. Thanks for thoughts.

Okay , well good luck with it all either way

I wouldn't email him about coffee. It sounds like a date however you phrase it and you don't even know if you are attracted to him. Could you email a meetup with the DC in the park as they aren't getting much social interaction? Or get on Facebook connect with a few real friends and connect with him. You don't have to stay on SM, but it's an easy ice-breaker.

Well that is a complete non-starter.... I searched in my emails to get his email address and realise that he had sent a couple of messages to the group that I hadn't paid attention to about some vaguely religious lifestyle choices. As lovely as he is, I think that's a big incompatability even friendship wise.

It's the first time for quite a while I've thought about possibly being attracted to someone so not a wasted exercise posting and thinking about it so thank you.