When theres nothing there anymore?

[Name4022]

I have been with DH 20years married for 14years 3 dc . There isn't anything between any more we just live under the same roof. Theres no arguments, I don't think either of us care enough to fall out over anything. No sex since December and before then could be months in between. The sex thing does not bother me at all I'd quite happily never do it ever again. He sleeps downstairs on the couch, his choice I'd never stop him getting into bed.
I literally dont have anything to say to him other than pass the time on what the dc are upto. He works hard although I also work full time I feel he can be quite controlling over money, its his money he earned it he will spend it how he wants.
He always tells me he loves me and the dc but has no interest in doing anything as a family no days out no holidays etc.
I'm so deeply unhappy the thought of living like this for another 30years scares me to death. Do people split up over things like this? No arguments no infidelity no abuse.....just nothing at all.

13 10 and 5 he could but he won't

I imagine that the children know that all is not well. You can't stay together for the sake of the children, because that's another 13 years, and from what i understand of these things, it will hurt them more than sorting things out now will.

You and your DH need to discuss where the relationship is going. One of you, presumably, will need to move out, and it makes more sense for the children to be with their mother.

Saying he won't unless you have discussed it is meaningless, because you don't know.

Given that you seem to get along ok, could you split but still live together? Could you try to rekindle the relationship - I know that you don't think so.

If you split, what would you want your life to be like?

Your having to chase him for basic food money. What makes you think he would play fair with maintenance ?

@Oldraver he would pay me a fair amount but would probably make me ask several times before he gave it too me. He likes to stroke his ego where my dependence on him for money is concerned. Tbh he would probably pay me more than what's necessary just to continue that hold over me and tell whoever listens how much he paid to make him think he sounds better.
@MikeUniformMike it's like we are already split but living under the same roof

Again a reason I know he wouldn't move out as he knows I I Couldn't afford by myself to set up a new home he has that control over me