Getting married in 2021

[Wedding20218715]

Hi hope everyone us keeping well.

Me and my partner have a 10 year old daughter and we are getting married in 2021.

I have a dilemma. We are in a relationship for 13 years we care about each other and love each other great relationship.

Recently my partner asked her friend to be bridesmaid she accepted. But I have feelings for this bridesmaid she is single with 5 kids we all get on great. When ever we are together we can't stop looking at each other i know she likes me to. But she does not want to cross that line either do I. But I can't stop thinking about the bridesmaid I do want to be with her.

I don't know what to do should I speak to my partner or to the bridesmaid.

I hope i don't sound bad im just stuck in a situation I don't want to cheat...

Thanks hope you guys can help...

If you really loved your partner you wouldn't be having these thoughts about the bridesmaid! Do not get married. How would you like it if you walked down the aisle and your partner secretly had the hots for your best man? You need to sort out your feelings before you get married.

If you want to be with anyone other than your partner, it doesn’t make sense to get married. Personally I think it’s natural to find people other than your partner attractive (marriage vows would hardly be necessary if that weren’t the case) but that’s completely different from wanting to be with someone else. I’ve had some huge crushes on other men in my time but have never for a moment wanted to be with them and not my partner. You seem to be suggesting you would like to be with this other woman.

You had your DD relatively early on in your relationship and only 10 years later are you getting married. There may be good reasons for that but it makes me wonder whether you would still be together if it weren’t for your DD and whether you are marrying when you should in fact be splitting up.

You don’t mention your age but I’m guessing (could be complete wrong) that you got together young (late teens/early 20s) and neither of you has been with anyone else or experienced life as a single adult. That works for some people but for most people it doesn’t. You may just have ‘grass is greener’ syndrome but I think it’s natural to want to experience other relationships before settling down for life. It makes a person better able to determine what is right for them.

All that said, don’t expect to be able to have a relationship with this other woman. That may well not work out. But your fiancée deserves a spouse who really wants to be with her.

The grass isn't always greener...
be 100% sure you want to be with her before hurting your fiancé. If you are definitely sure then you need to leave fiancé asap

I really think you should talk to your partner and be honest with her about your feelings. Have you and the bridesmaid talked about these feeling you have for each other?