Scared by someone entering our house today - big argument with DP

[Lickmylegs0]

I need to know I’m not going crazy. I was in garden, and came in to see a strange lady using our toilet. Baby was asleep in room next to door, and my DD was there too. DP had opened door and let lady in to use the toilet, he claims she pushed past him - but I think he should have said ‘no’ firmly.
Man on doorstep wanted to contact previous owners of our bungalow - DP was about to get all our paperwork out. I stopped him and told them to contact estate agent.
Strange lady came back later. I spoke to her through window - she wanted to know if the previous owner had died - and then said the bungalow should belong to them.
I feel very shaken up and DP has been having a go at me saying I overreacted.

Getting a ring doorbell won't help if op's dh can see no wrong in what he did.
They can't protect you from yourself...

@Lickmylegs0

This is a horrible situation. Do please call 101 now and get things recorded.

It is "just possible" that the executor of the sale concealed a will which left the property to someone else and the estate was dealt with by intestacy rules [fraudulently]. There is an odd situation in England that wills were not compulsorily and centrally recorded. In theory if he finds a will that he does not like and burns it who will know? It's not even necessary to have a solicitor draw up a will [and keep a copy]. I imagine this an unlikely scenario but have no idea how it would be sorted out. If the money is spent it may not be recouped.

Your DH behaved appallingly!

I would log the incident with the police and be vigilant

I’d be fuming with DH, surely he could have blocked her and pushed her back out? Who lets a stranger roam around your house while you go dig out paperwork for them regarding YOUR house? Is he on glue?!

Was the previous owner friendly with your neighbours? Might be worth asking them if they know anything?

And there are people on here who laugh at posters who don't answer the door if they aren't expecting anyone!

Sounds as if you need a spyhole/ring doorbell/chain-or all of them!

Getting paperwork out to show a complete stranger?

Bet they couldn't believe their luck!

I'm sorry this must have been very scary.

I think your husband probably was just blind sided by this rude woman.

I think if they turn up again I would call the police.

Make your peace with your dh, and you did not overreact.

You say you were scared and shaken up OP. Maybe your husband was also scared and shaken up to open his front door to an unhinged and aggressive couple, one of whom forced her way into his house. But no, because he’s a man he’s obviously spineless (some nice examples of toxic masculinity in this thread). It’s easy to say what he ‘should have’ done, but it was a weird situation and he probably didn’t know how to react in that moment.

Report to police.
Also
Where do you live - just the county/country.
I only ask as maybe if it's in a tight knit community in outer Scotland it's less socially unacceptable than if it's in a suburb of London.

I do think family dispute, but no way should she have been going into our house, and I’m sure it was a ploy to look round. My concern is that they may come back, and in some way think that our house is theirs. They didn’t seem the type to follow logic, legal proceedings and rules. I said to DP - what if they’d both come in, refused to leave - and got nasty if we called the police - with our two young children about. What if they’d had a weapon? I feel very, very vulnerable about how easily it happened - and DP has continued to be an idiot this afternoon.

Nothing to do with gender here - I wouldn’t have let her in. I would have said a very firm no.

Your DP is a fool. There is no way he should have let a random caller into your home.

Absolutely log this with the police. The couple are either thieves or people who are going to harass you about the wrongful sale of the house.
The police will tell you the situation is very ambiguous because your idiot DP let the woman in though.

You need to speak to the solicitor who handled your sale ASAP. If you have any inkling about who these people are, you may need to send a cease and desist letter to them from a solicitor. If they show up again you might be able to get their names.

Your DP sounds like a dick - just make sure he doesn't let anyone else in.

Oh come on-he was so shaken up he went off to look for paperwork??

You’re absolutely right op

If they come back, tell them to seek legal action and leave you alone.

Phew! I think you dodged a bullet there Op. Call the non-emergency number for the Police NOW. Before you forget or change your mind.

You say nothing missing - I doubt it. Car keys -anythng lying around. Phone the police and inform them what has happened. Check your keys, phones and wallets.Spare keys.More likely they were scouting your house out. Openly. Lock all the windows and door firmly. I'd install a ring doorbell within 24 hours.

I think she was probably caught short, thought friend still lived there, and will be totally embarassed and not contact you again.

While anyone can get things wrong, the fact that he has since said that you overreacted would be what would enrage me - you had a baby and another young child there and he'd let some hostile stranger in! I'd lose my shit over that.

I would change your locks if I were you.

@Lickmylegs0

I do think family dispute, but no way should she have been going into our house, and I’m sure it was a ploy to look round. My concern is that they may come back, and in some way think that our house is theirs. They didn’t seem the type to follow logic, legal proceedings and rules. I said to DP - what if they’d both come in, refused to leave - and got nasty if we called the police - with our two young children about. What if they’d had a weapon? I feel very, very vulnerable about how easily it happened - and DP has continued to be an idiot this afternoon.

Your only real concern is your half witted dh, op, sorry to be harsh. So what if they come back? It's only an issue if you live with an imbecile who doesn't understand not to let them in Call the police if they turn nasty. It's quite simple.

I think it might be a posh thing too.
My barmy posh EX mother in law, would and did, do this in the countryside and thought it normal.
Sorry.
The whole lot of them are exs for a reason, but it's a very entitled kind of people, with their obnoxious, arrogant bluster that won't take no for an answer. Theyre called nobs for a reason. Historical insult for gentry (from nobility). No longer gentry but still nobs.

Call the police, but don't expect much.

@Jaxhog

Phew! I think you dodged a bullet there Op. Call the non-emergency number for the Police NOW. Before you forget or change your mind.

What will they do, though? The "intruders" haven't broken any laws. They'll just tell you not to let strangers into your home next time...

I do think you should notify the police and they can advise you about what to do if they come back or any security.