Do you think he is controlling?

[monicabingg]

I'm really worried about my friend.
She's been with a man for 8 years now and has a 7 year old and a 10 month old.
He doesn't let her go on birth control (but that's a different story )
She rang me yesterday saying they were all in town and she really wanted to pop in primark but he said no.
Anytime she wants to go out the 4 of them have to go,she never seems to be on her own or just her and kids.
She said she wanted some new bits from town.
So I said why don't you leave kids with him for a hour or so and pop to town (it's 5 min drive)
She said no he wouldn't be happy with that.
I asked why and she said he would think it would be un necessary.
She said I'm going to ask him if we can all go to town today and he can take the eldest for a hour and il take youngest.
I've just text her saying have fun
She replied she isn't going as he doesn't want to go.
I'm fuming for her tbh
She has no life apart from him.
Tell the prick your going out for a hour and go.
Do you think she is being controlled ?

sounds like it and the birth control thing is absolutely not a different story. It's all about control.

But it won't be as easy as just telling her to tell him she's going out.

It could be, but it's hard to say with it only being the one side on a text conversation. She might be someone who doesn't like going on her own. She might not trust him on his own with the kids (which is its own problem).

If you are worried about your friend, can you have a chat with her about it? Mention this behaviour doesn't seem normal to you. Ask if there is anything you can do to help.

I've read on here about coercive reproduction, where an abuser wants his victim to have babies to keep her tied to him. Could it be that.

Yes she is being controlled but she is lucky to have a friend like you. She wont see it I guess she’ll think he is just caring?

He is indeed controlling her.

Keep your lines of communication with her open.