Is anyone free to talk?

[Needanewnametoday]

Been married over twenty years, turbulent at times but we’ve muddled through. Husband, I’m hesitating to call him dh, is experiencing personality changes as part of a chronic illness. He really needs assessment but can’t get it due to Covid. I feel emotionally abused and guilty that I’m allowing the same for my children, but he can’t help it at the moment.

He was compelled to take sick leave from work after an emotional explosion at a colleague. He is currently on full pay but, realistically, he is not going to be able to continue.

Parkinsons here and he is retired now but previously had similar issues at work. One thing that helped him keep working a bit longer and also reduced stress was that he worked 4 short days so maybe 20 hours a week. Stress I think impacts both these conditions.

He was working 24 hours a week, but he really can’t keep up a professional role any more. He might be able to get on an even keel with medication and take on a part time, non-physical support role...but I’m not holding my breath.

Stress really doesn’t help. He couldn’t walk upstairs when he was first sent home and I had to go and get him. He’s built up to walking short distances with a stick and has had phone consultations with a physio.

He might find that jobs in the charity sector are a bit more understanding if he wants to try to keep working, which I think is probably good to do for as long as possible. Is it the relapsing kind of ms or progressive? Parkinson’s is progressive, it has been quite a slow progression but I think we have hit a tipping point. I am a fair bit younger than DH so I am debating how long I can keep working if things worsen.

Progressive. His current employer will reassign him if it all possible.

I have been main earner for years now and do enjoy my job but can only do part time due to my own health issues- likely brought on by the situation in the first place. Things that help me are seeing my own friends, having hobbies and making life as simple as possible e.g. shopping deliveries so it's not on me to go round shops and carry shopping. Let the housework go a bit and ensure kids are doing chores too. Some of this has been affected by COVID for now, e.g click and collect shopping at the moment.