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do I message

17 replies

pandaandap · 20/06/2020 00:40

Have been on around 5 dates with a guy, last one ended in me staying at his etc etc

He was VERY keen first four although soon became clear he had unresolved ex issues, yet still said he was looking for something serious and wanted to pursue something if it had legs. I am not necessarily looking for sth serious, more to see where things go and have enjoyed hanging out.

He realised I was fairly inexperienced when I stayed at his and freaked out a little, started to backtrack what he said he wanted and admitted the ex issues were deeper than originally had said. Insisted he wanted to take things slow and said we could see what happened. I agreed

Texted frequently over the next 4 days (driven by him) culminating in him asking if I wanted to do something that week - I agreed. He then texted the day after saying had injured himself but continuing the conversation. Couple days later, I mentioned some pubs had opened and he said great, we can go for a drink and check out the local pubs - but still no day mentioned. I agreed and expressed my enthusiasm.

We have been in touch since, I sent him some selfies, and he hasn't acknowleged them at all. Do I ask about the drink he suggested or just leave? Itt has been around a week snce we last saw each other whereas the pace before was around 2x week. He has admitted rushing things with other women before me which then ended prematurely and hasn't had more than 4/5 dates since his breakup

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 20/06/2020 00:43

He sounds like very hard work, don't you think? You are massively wasting your time on this one. He's all but told you this "thing" you're doing isn't going anywhere. Dump and block. It really shouldn't be this hard.

AtrociousCircumstance · 20/06/2020 00:47

If he’s ignored your selfies that’s just a bit dismissive. Cheerfully dump and block. It all sounds like a big mess waiting to happen, if it happens at all.

6079SmithW · 20/06/2020 00:56

Don't message. IMO it's a waste time trying to establish anything with someone who has ex issues (especially "deep" ones). Start messaging someone else!

pandaandap · 20/06/2020 00:58

You are right.

I feel quite conned in that he seemed to be really pushing for things to go somewhere (or rather saying that was what he wanted) and then suddenly backtracked.

I really tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. He acted like he was very into me.

OP posts:
RLEOM · 20/06/2020 01:13

I'd take the hint that he's not that into you. Sorry.

UselessMickey · 20/06/2020 01:27

Sounds very similar to my situation, right down to him suddenly injuring himself. Wonder if it's the same guy hahaha, if it is, or anything like the one I am thinking of, run run run. Waste of energy

HS24 · 20/06/2020 01:48

Men are really simple at the beginning, if they want to see you, they will. If he's really into you, you won't have to question anything. I would cut it off now and find someone else.

BitOfFun · 20/06/2020 01:49

Yeah, give this one a swerve. If you look up r/FDS on Reddit, you'll find some good tips in the Required Reading part.

FurbabyLife · 20/06/2020 07:27

Don’t message if it’s the last thing you do. Release him back into the sea and don’t look back.

TheStuffedPenguin · 20/06/2020 07:38

Live and learn . You did nothing wrong . You have just gained experience . Block him and move on .

BluebellForest836 · 20/06/2020 07:42

Maybe after the 5th date when you stayed over and mentioned he freaked out put him off a bit and then his interest has just dwindled from there?

I wouldn’t bother personally.

Vodkacranberryplease · 20/06/2020 10:05

@BitOfFun just went to thatvreddit you recommded- fantastic, thank you!

Mermaidwaves · 20/06/2020 11:23

Leave him to it OP, the warning signs are there I'm afraid. You can sense when they are losing interest and its easier to stop it now before you get attached.

ThoseBootsAreMadeForWalking · 20/06/2020 12:17

OP, like @UselessMickey I wonder if we were dating the same guy!
How old is he?

shitwithsugaron · 20/06/2020 12:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UselessMickey · 20/06/2020 12:25

32! or 33

ThoseBootsAreMadeForWalking · 20/06/2020 12:45

Not the same then but similar pattern. Arghhh depressing.

OP - don’t message. If you feel you want to, it might be better to block 💐

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