Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Stay or leave?

12 replies

Countrygirl12345 · 20/06/2020 00:13

Been with fiancé for almost 9 years......engaged for 3.5 of those years....now in my 40’s.......I keep mentioning about getting married and always wanted children which he has always known about......now it seems too late for children.....he has a house and his mum and dad live with him......I live with my mum.....I get upset and stressed because I feel he doesn’t want to commit and I always wanted someone to grow old with and kids.....when I push the wedding subject he now says he is doubting the prospect of life with me because of the way I get upset and angry and he says I throw “mud” at him......I get upset and angry and do say harsh things due to the sheer lack of moving forward and lack of getting a house together and wedding......advice please ......stay and work things out or move on and try to find someone that will actually commit?

OP posts:
tobedtoMNandfart · 20/06/2020 00:38

How would 'stay and work it out' actually work though?? He's known for 9 years where you want this to go. He doesn't want the same or it would be happening. That's fine but I do think he has been grossly unfair to you given the bio clock is ticking. Sorry.

Leglump · 20/06/2020 00:40

Christ alive. He isn’t giving you the life you want.

Also, google “sunk cost fallacy.”

If you want children you need to make a decision NOW and stop wasting time!

Leglump · 20/06/2020 00:41

Have you worked out why he isn’t marrying you and having kids?

HE JUST DOESNT WANT TO.

Weenurse · 20/06/2020 00:42

Leave

Aquamarine1029 · 20/06/2020 00:46

Haven't you wasted enough of your life on this man? You have done so to the point where you most likely won't be able to have children. He has been future faking you for 9 years. Take control and get your life back. Dump immediately and move on.

6079SmithW · 20/06/2020 00:50

Please leave. You've been together for 9 years and you still live apart with your parents. This relationship is going nowhere fast. He has known about your desire for children and let you waste time while there's precious little of it when ttc over 40. He is utterly selfish. If it does turn out to be late for you, then you also need to take responsibility for not making it your priority. I hope this is not the case. Regardless you need to start taking care of your own happiness NOW.

Leglump · 20/06/2020 00:56

OP why have you stayed?

Lynda07 · 20/06/2020 01:01

Move on!

Tiny2018 · 20/06/2020 01:13

He doesn't want the sane things as you but us happy to string you along for the time being for sex on tap.
Get rid.

Browzingss · 20/06/2020 01:17

Leave

You want different things

If he wanted marriage and kids, you’d own a home together and be married and trying to conceive my now. Instead he bought a house and moved his parents inConfused

Vodkacranberryplease · 20/06/2020 03:20

He doesn't want you. Every second you waste is a second you don't get with a man who does. Your mr right is out there and this guy is visiting you the chance to meet him.

Time to get out - and have a long hard think about what you want because otherwise you'll end up with another loser. Avoiding them is not easy, and you will be a magnet for them if you don't start to see your own value,

1forAll74 · 20/06/2020 04:37

Seems that you are not compatible at all, it's just a drag of a relationship, and going nowhere it seems. A bit foolish to carry on like this, as it's making you sad , and your partner doesn't seem too worried about this at all.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page