I'm a single mum who has been in a relationship for 4 years with a guy who lives a couple of miles away from me. We've been quite laid back since the start, he's not involved with my teenage kids at all. They don't need another dad and he is kind to them when he does happen to see them but this is my relationship rather than theirs.
Having come out of a bad marriage to a selfish narcissist ExH, I love the fact that I get to feel so empowered and don't have to rely on anyone for anything. My fella & I will help each other out with stuff but are very independent of each other in most ways.
I have a feeling that when the kids leave home we might eventually move in together, but we haven't talked about this yet. I'm not sure whether this is what I want and feel I should be clear in my mind before I talk about it with him.
Sometimes I see these older couples that get engaged, married,etc. and am a bit sad that I don't think this will happen for me as we've never even talked about it, but then other times I think that I couldn't be bothered with it all and fear being smothered by anyone who would want to own or control me, not that he's shown any signs of this.
How do I work out what I really want? Do I even have to decide now or should I just go with the flow? What if I decide that I want more commitment in 5 years time? I'm nearly 50 now and if he doesn't want the same then I'll struggle to find someone who does...
My rational side knows that I'd be happy living on my own with a house full of pets into old age, but my romantic side sometimes wants more.
Argh - this is driving me nuts! I just need to speak to him without putting any pressure on him don't I...? But how?