How do you get your spouse to move out?

[KellyHall]

I'm done.

After years of 'serious talks' and a 'final ultimatum', I'm no longer willing to walk on eggshells waiting for my husband to have a temper tantrum and upset myself or dd. I can't even enjoy the good times any more because I'm just on edge waiting for him to kick off.

But how do you actually get someone to move out of their home? He's never sorry, I don't think he believes he's ever done anything wrong so why would he leave willingly? We don't have a spare room so living together whilst separated is not possible.

I am in the same boat. Mine is refusing to leave. If you figure it out, let me know

Why should he? If its over for you but not for him you should move out. If you have dc then you need to see a solicitor and start divorcing him.

I couldn't find a way. We slept in separate rooms for 2 years and I could hear him in the spare room with the OW.
I left in the end with dc and forced a house sale as part of the divorce.

If you own the house together then you need to get good legal advice and start divorce proceedings. He won't leave of his own accord as you've pointed out.

Start a divorce. Get legal advice. If there's abuse, you may be able to get an occupation order or something.

If the marriage is over start the divorce. It will settle the fate of the house one way or another. These days it’s usually sold.

Btw neither of you are going to be advised to leave the home. Especially if there is unreasonable behaviour.

My advice, unless you have really exception circumstances the outcome of the divorce will be incredibly predictable. Arguing the toss over the inevitable will only cost you both time, money and mental health.

If you own the house together, legally, you can't, he has as much right to stay there as you do. I'm not really sure why you think you should be able to kick him out of his home? If the marriage has broken down you need to see a solicitor and start divorce proceedings.

As PPs have said, get legal advice asap and initiate divorce.

If he refuses to move out of the bedroom to the living room, you could. If you have funds you could buy something to sleep on.

You say you are walking on eggshells.
I'm assuming he is abusive.
What does his temper tantrums involve?
Verbal abuse? Swearing? Throwing things? Stonewalling?
Is your house owned by both of you? Or do you rent?
He doesn't have to move out unless there is abuse.
What you need first is some legal advice.
Get onto a few solicitors in your area. Some may offer a free half hour or a reduced first appointment.
Knowledge is power.

Sleep in DDs room? Is that an option?

I'm glad you're on your way to freedom!

He is emotionally and verbally abusive to me and dd. But he doesn't ever seem to think he's done anything wrong, he's never sorry and just acts like nothing's happened. It's got to the point where neither me or dd want to do anything with him or even talk to him, the last time we tried he had a toddler style tantrum while we were out, dd fronted up to him shouted at him he was being horrible and he should say sorry - he still wouldn't. If your 3 year old is pulling you up on your tantrums and you don't take is as a wake up call, you're really not made for family life imo.

We don't have much equity, we haven't even finished our house yet, I was hoping he'd move out and I could pay him off for his share of the equity by off-setting child maintenance for a few years. I paid the initial deposit using savings I had before we married, I've paid for the renovations and I kind of hoped that as he maintains he loves us both more than anything, there's a chance he'll do the decent thing and just go?

Dh and I already sleep in the lounge, dd has the only bedroom in our 1 bed flat. His temper tantrums involve shouting, slamming doors, making unreasonable demands like being angry with dd for the time she's wakes up in the morning, telling dd untruths "don't bother with mummy, she's grumpy", "mummy doesn't love daddy", "don't bother asking mummy to help you because she'll be too busy", telling dd if she doesn't do what he's asking he won't speak to her for the rest of the day and just do the bare minimum to keep her alive.

I do sometimes sleep in dd's room. Sorry, only just saw that one!

Married and property the only way is to see a solicitor.

I didn’t marry mine. Didn’t put him on the tenancy and when it came to tell him to leave he had no choice.

My ex husband never filed for divorce after we split and not a Chance was I starting proceedings as I would have been screwed over financially.

Yes you need to get some legal advice
Sounds like you'll be much happier without him

Sorry there's no chance he'll do the decent thing, not from how emotionally immature he is. Best thing to do is get legal advice and start divorce proceedings. Good luck

So I asked him to leave and told him all of the reasons why. He packed a bag and he's staying with a friend.

I feel so relieved.

He seemed genuinely shocked, apparently none of the serious talks nor last year's final ultimatum made him think our marriage was in any real danger! He kept crying and saying he was sorry, I just kept thinking that if he wasn't sorry before that he's only sorry now because he's got an actual consequence.

I asked him to strongly consider counselling but now he's asking me to go to marriage counselling which I feel like is his way of still making me responsible for him. He says he wants to be a better person/father/husband, I saidI believe he wants to but I don't trust him to actually do it.

Dd is doing OK, she demanded an explanation of where daddy was today. He'd told her he had to go away to fix something very important and she accepted it from him but then today she just wouldn't be put off so I told her that daddy wants to be happier and nicer to us but he needs to figure out how to fix himself first. He obviously wasn't happy that I gave her so much information but she's a clever girl and she wasn't being fobbed off.

I just know he's going to make this as difficult as he can!

Are you me? This is my life right down to me and H having to sleep in the front room!! My dd is 5 but he was like this when she was 3. I'm 2 years down the line. It doesn't get better. End it for good, mine has never been able to keep his big promises. I'm holding out for the end of our tenancy in a couple of months then separate ways is easier.
If he's abusive you can try and get a non molestation order.