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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Has anyone reported historical DV? triggering.

4 replies

Needsomehelphere · 19/06/2020 07:00

Thank you so much to everyone who replied to my previous post. Due to the fact I feel I outed myself with too many details, I asked for it to be removed but every single one one of the replies gave me a lot of strength.

So much strength in fact, I feel I’m moving towards a point where I can report the assault. I wondered if any one here has ever reported historical DV? I don’t want to out myself again, but it was a very serious assault.

OP posts:
GilbertMarkham · 19/06/2020 08:57

I haven't (yet) but I'd speak to Women's aid about it as a first move. Hopefully they'll know the best route.

user1972548274 · 19/06/2020 09:09

Yes and I personally wouldn't do it to myself again.

To say the police let me down would be a very mild and generous summary of what happened. And it was a systemic issue, not an isolated one.

Look at your force's latest HMIC assessment. If your police force is publicly acknowledged in their assessment to be failing vulnerable victims of crime then their actual conduct towards you will be much worse. You will end up even more traumatised, possibly put at risk, nobody will be protected from him in future.

Have you had support for yourself in terms of processing, healing and recovering? I would prioritise that.

Needsomehelphere · 19/06/2020 09:29

@user1972548274

Yes and I personally wouldn't do it to myself again.

To say the police let me down would be a very mild and generous summary of what happened. And it was a systemic issue, not an isolated one.

Look at your force's latest HMIC assessment. If your police force is publicly acknowledged in their assessment to be failing vulnerable victims of crime then their actual conduct towards you will be much worse. You will end up even more traumatised, possibly put at risk, nobody will be protected from him in future.

Have you had support for yourself in terms of processing, healing and recovering? I would prioritise that.

I will have a look at the report for my area. Sadly this doesn’t surprise me - I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Part of the reason the DV was not reported at the time was because I’d been a witness (circumstantial, I didn’t see a crime committed) in a much more serious case before...the whole experience left me feeling that if I ever needed to report anything to the police myself I wouldn’t...the police didn’t treat some witnesses very well, those that gave evidence in court (I didn’t) were ripped apart by the defence and at the end of it all the accused got off. I guess no one said life was fair.
OP posts:
category12 · 19/06/2020 11:56

I'm glad you're feeling stronger. It's worth speaking to the police, even if it isn't pursued fully, I think: I'd get advice from women's aid or similar about reporting. I think having it on record could be useful to you as you move forward. Also, because he's still very much a danger to you, it's not historical in the same way as pps are thinking, and I think you need the level of risk you're at flagged up.

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