First date advice.

[Mrxdz]

Hi, so I've recently went on a first date. She was great, got on really well with her. Everything I look for in a woman. However, while am very attracted to her personality, am not sure if am physically attracted to her. Nonetheless, I have asked her on a second date as I really enjoyed my time with her. I suppose what am trying to get to is, should I follow through with a second date if there was no initial attraction?

Yes , I didn't feel any physical attraction to my husband till the third or fourth date. If it wasn't that we got on so well I would have given up tbh.... we've been together for 23 years and he gets more gorgeous with every passing year.

I know that sounds like a bad romance novel but seriously I would give it a go.

Someone who is physically attractive but with an awful personality gets uglier with the passage of time. You love her personality, just give it some time and see how it progresses.

If it was me I would go on a second date - attraction grows the more you know someone if you like them I think.
Did you find her at all attractive? I guess would be hard if you found them really unattractive..
What vibes did you get from her? Does she want to meet again?

But you said there is an attraction... just not a physical one.

I'd give it another date, looks aren't everything

I didn't find her unattractive, it's just am not sure... But as mentioned, she was an absolute pleasure to be around. We got on really well. I'm quite a shy person and often find it difficult to keep conversations going. However she managed to keep the conversation going and I really enjoyed it. She said she enjoyed meeting me, I got her number and am going to organise to meet again. I suppose that's a good sign?

WaitingForTheTurn79

Thanks for the advice.

Sounds like it was really good! ‘She was an absolute pleasure to be around’ - think your answer is there. Go for it

I agree with the others. Arrange to meet again. One step at a time, and if it goes well, see how you feel after a few more dates.

I went on 4 dates with my ex before I fancied him...I wasn't attracted by his looks, his personality sucked me in. Then, he became phwooar. I also wasn't sure to begin with, felt there was something missing (his looks). It ultimately didn't matter though

Wow , well you describe her as an absolute pleasure to be around , I think that sounds like a very promising start!

When I first started going out with my husband I just saw that he wasn't my "type" (whatever nonsense that was) ...over time I started to see little things , like his eyes looked green in the light but hazel in the evening ... I won't go on any more but just those little things that you just start to appreciate and you start to see the whole person, it makes a big difference.

Anyway , I wish you luck, it sounds really good imo.

If a person is a pleasure to spend time with, why wouldn't you spend more time with them? I presume you've not promised her eternal wedded bliss, at this point? You might end up being best mates. The future's open.

Thanks for the advice everyone. I've arranged to meet up again to see were it goes. It might turn out she feels the same about me lol.

I would agree to meet again at just be cautious about leading her on until you know a bit more. For her you may be the full package that at the moment she isnt for you. It would be sad if after a few more dates she decides shes falling for you and you decide you still dont fancy her physically.
Personally if I dont fancy someone straight away I'm not going to. I've been in scenarios where I've continued thinking, as others have said above, that part might develop but it never has. Once guy I fell in love with and we were together a while but ultimately we did split because that phwoar you're gorgeous just wasnt there for me and, without going into details, while I cared for him deeply, it was a huge part of why we split.
I know that that physical attraction, sexual chemistry has to be present from the beginning but that could be me.
You know yourself better than anyone.

Just remember that the lust part of a relationship rarely lasts.

Being able to have a conversation and enjoy someone's company does.

I rarely fancy people straight away as I can't just go on looks alone so if a date has gone well and I am not repulsed by them physically, I have always agreed to another one and more often than not I end up dating them for a while. I met my bf online and while he didn't make me weak at the knees physically, I swiped on him because I thought he had something about him and we had the same interests. We are now 10 months in and I do fancy him but a lot of that is down to personality.

I was previously with someone for a few months and he was gorgeous but it also transpired that he wasn't a fan of monogamy so swings and roundabouts!

The most important thing for me is a spark, the twinkle in your/their eyes when you look at each other. I also need to be able to imagine myself having sex with them. If it feels gross in my head, I don't go any further with them.