How do you cope

[Desertrain]

With abusive horrible ex’s that you share children with?
I just am a constant ball of anxiety wondering when I’m going to be harassed in to giving him his own way, what I’m going to do that’s wrong and sparks a torrent of lengthy messages.
I love my DD so much and I just want her to have two parents that only ever act in her interest. It causes me physical pain that I can’t give her that. I feel like I’m actually having to grieve the situation I wanted for her. I just can’t stand the conflict. The abuse and the bombardment of paragraphs and paragraphs of words that get thrown at me when I say no to something (very reasonably). It leaves me so upset and confused.
I can’t go through a court I don’t have the money to pay for that process. I think a legal contact arrangement would be great for us all because it’s fixed then and no room for constant requests for more contact last minute and cancellations.
But I can’t do that right now.
I just need a hand hold.

My ex is similar to this and I was afraid of the next barrage of abuse I'd get for many years. In the end my DH took over the contact and became the go between. Do you have anyone who could do this for you?

My Ex was like this and to some extent still is. He also got his partner who he’s now split from do the contact and arrangements which made it worse as she would always make out I was lying or got the arrangement mixed up ect. It was very stressful and I dreaded the next text or lengthy email.

It’s calmed down a bit now and they do eventually get board. We had a court order in place but don’t stick to it anymore and they are with me 100% now. Still get grief but not as much