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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Friend wants her H out not on tenancy but they are married

29 replies

00Sassy · 17/06/2020 19:56

My friend is married to an absolute twat, frankly.

He flirts with women at work and brings up in arguments that these women fancy him.

She sent him a message telling him there wasn’t enough food in for her and the DC to eat dinner so she’d fed the DC but hadn’t eaten herself (I believe he ‘holds the purse strings’Hmm) so he went to the shop on the way home from work and bought food for himself but none for her, when he knew she was stuck at home with DC.

He barely speaks to her and if she speaks to him he’ll often shout at her to shut her up.

Sometimes when she speaks to him he simply ignores her or doesn’t hear her because he’s too busy gaming, something he does from after dinner until the early hours every night.

They never have sex, ever.

If they argue and my friend suggests that he leaves as they’re both not happy he says he will go but he’ll be taking DC with him as she wouldn’t cope without him, something she believes as she suffers from anxiety and I believe he uses that to make her feel like she can’t cope (hard to explain but he twists things)

His family live hours and hours away and he says if he leaves he’ll take DC and go and live with his family and she’ll never see DC again.

His only form of communication inside the house is shouting and arguing, he shouts at DC too.
They’re all so unhappy.

There’s so much more to it but hopefully you get the gist and she wants him out.

They rent and the tenancy is in her name only but they are married.

Does anyone have any idea how she can get him out?

OP posts:
FizzyGreenWater · 17/06/2020 22:07

Does she trust her DF/DB?

Because I would be making sure that the inheritance goes to someone else - obviously the DB - right now, while she files for divorce. Then he can give her the money.

Or a trust, but that's complicated.

CodenameVillanelle · 17/06/2020 22:19

@theredhen1

As a landlord my agreement is with her and not him although if they're married I wonder why he's not on the tenancy? Is she claiming benefits as a single mum and lying about him living there?
Social housing doesn't tend to be joint tenancies these days as it's impossible to remove someone from a tenancy agreement without a court order so it's far more trouble than it's worth.
Elieza · 17/06/2020 23:11

They defo need to divorce ASAP if she’s due to inherit something. You don’t want him getting it as quite frankly he deserves nothing from the relationship as he’s out nothing in

Elieza · 17/06/2020 23:11

Put nothing in

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