Help me

[Wheresthecoffee100]

I have been with my partner for over 3 years, we live together as a blended family and I am currently pregnant with our first child together.
Our relationship is great other than the usual arguments about stepchildren, but nothing that isn't fixed with conversation.
Today I found him on an old laptop when he thought I went out, he instantly became extremely nervous and had shut the door behind him, he looked petrified.
I found sex videos of his ex wife on there, and went mad as you would expect, these were from their relationship but obviously not deleted.
He was adament that he wasn't masturbating over these videos, and I could tell there was something he hadn't told me.
Eventually he came out with the fact that years ago in his 20s (15 years or so ago) he used to take upskirt pictures and these were all on his laptop. He says he no longer does it and it was a stupid thing he did when younger.
I don't believe him, I haven't seen these pictures and I feel physically sick at the fact I have been with someone for this long with no idea of their past behaviour. He is fully aware this is illegal now and has apparently deleted all the pictures.
I want to leave him, I love him, but I feel morally I can't be with someone who has behaved in this way, regardless of timescales.
I have zero money, I'm heavily pregnant, me and my children live in the house that only his name is on the mortgage, I don't know where to go from here.
My life has just fallen apart within the space of one evening.

Oh OP.
This is awful.
He probably couldn’t have upskirted 15 years ago that easily (if I remember phones from back then).
Was he telling you he was wanking to old recordings of anonymous women victims?
Is there any chance he is lying to cover that it was his ex he was looking at?

I don't believe the timescales he has given me if I'm honest, I didn't push to see the pictures and I wanted to protect myself from stress as all of this was already triggering some beefy Braxton hicks. He seemed to be very aware of the new law coming in last year, which makes me very convinced this is when he stopped.
Without sounding disrespectful, from what I saw of the videos they weren't much to masturbate over, especially when you have the wonders of the internet, of course it's still a possibility, but he appeared to be telling the truth when he told me he wasn't. It was the fact I could tell there was "something else" which is what pushed the eventual confession.

I'd be getting as far away from him as I possibly could. You need to speak to a solicitor. Do you have friends or family anywhere?

Call the police and hand them the laptop. Let them deal with this. You have enough going on.

Is there anywhere else you and the children can go? Take the laptop and pass to the police. Don’t tell him you are doing this! It sounds very odd and there is probably more to the story. He sounds perverted and you really don’t want your kids around somebody this weird and deceitful. God knows what else he’s been up to! Upskirt photos??!! How does that even happen? Do the women know he’s doing that? Or is it secretive. I’ve never heard of this before!

That’s such a weird thing for him to admit to. I don’t get why on earth he would tell you. I don’t think that’s something I could forgive.

I agree with staying with a friend or family member if you’ve got anyone around. Is that a possibility?

Sounds like a distraction tactic to me op. You need to see those photos at the very least and that laptop.

You are right to be so upset. I haven't read up on this particular 'thrill', but I think a lot of it comes from the fact that they know it's a violation and they know it's wrong. It's a powertrip. I can imagine that fairly nasty individuals do this because they feel resentful they are too 'inadequate' to have sex with these women, so their revenge is to upskirt them so they can take a little piece of them home with them, whether they like it or not. Ughh....there's all sorts of issues there. Makes you wonder why he still has sex tapes videos of his ex-wife, eh? Did she even consent to them? God. If you have any doubts, and there us enough here to be doubtful about, you have to prepare yourself for the possibility that he's filmed you too.

Do you have family you can stay with? Contact Women's Aid if need be.