Have I fallen out of love?

[Han3940]

Hi everyone! This might seem silly because I’m so young but I could really do with some advice.

I’m 19 years old and I’ve been with my boyfriend for three years. He means so much to me and I really love him however, for a while now we haven’t been having sex and I’m not as attracted to him as I used to be (he hopped on the head shaving trend which didn’t help). Since this lockdown we have kind of drifted apart so I decided to break up with him last week. We are both absolutely gutted and I just can’t tell if I’ve made the right decision.

I know that I’m young and I’ve got plenty of time ahead of me to meet someone new but I miss his company. We get along really well and truly are best friends so I’m not sure if I miss him as a friend or as a boyfriend. I miss physical affection such as hugging and cuddling and I also feel really guilty that I’m upsetting him.

I’m just really confused with my emotions. Should I have stayed with him and tried to fix the relationship or should this be the end? I’ve still got pictures of him around my room that I really don’t want to get rid of and I’m really sad to be losing him, it’s breaking my heart. If you have been in this situation before I’d love to hear your advice.

Thank you so much.

Also something I forgot to add - I feel like some time apart would do us some good because he hasn’t been making as much effort as i would have hoped since lockdown. In this case do you think distance would make my heart grow fonder and some distance might help me fall back in love? Maybe a few months could help?

Oh dear, I hesitate to try to give you advice on your feelings, but I will do my best: you obviously still love him, but I am not sure that you are still in love with him. I think that your doubts show you that this relationship has probably run it's course, but you have a very kind heart and hate knowing how upset he is; on top of you still caring for him (and I still care about my first boyfriend from 50 years ago!), and his pain, you have the added stress of this awful virus and the lockdown, many of us have very confused feelings about all sorts of things at the moment which makes decision making even harder than normal. I think that you have come up with you own very sensible suggestion, and that is that you have a complete break from each other for some months, then at an agreed date, discuss with each other how you feel then, hopefully you will both agree on your feelings, but if one of you wants out at that stage, then it is a decision made, and you will both be able to move on with your own lives. Good luck with your decisions, I have everything crossed for you. xx

@Bl3ss3dm0m Thank you so much - I really needed this type of reassurance.

You're welcome Han, if you want a shoulder to cry on, or someone just to have a good moan at, then please pm me, I sleep weir hours so might not be able to get back to you straight away, but I will do my best