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Relationships

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Original poster

He's still sort of seeing his baby's mum?

50 replies

Lifeistrbl · 15/06/2020 10:31

I met this guy at work at the start of the year. He spoke all the time about his baby that was due in April. He said he wasn't with the babies mum and they were just friends. Me and him hit it off and we started seeing each other.

Fast forward to lockdown he went to stay with her. She must of seen some messages between us and sent me a message asking what was going on between us. She told me had brought her expensive jewellery, they spent valentines together, he had sent her roses for Valentines. They had been sleeping together. She said she found him texting even other girls when she found out about me. I met up with him and he had pictures of them as a family all together. He did show me messages where he told her he didn't want to be with her but then I saw him questioning her about other men? What is he playing at? I know people say leave it because so much drama but we're quite casual right now. I just enjoy his company I just feel uncomfortable for her kind of involving me? Like me and him are separate. I just don't know what to say to her, should I just leave it all

OP posts:

SunbathingDragon · 15/06/2020 12:21

So you are the other woman and you have the audacity to be annoyed at his girlfriend contacting you about the fact you are having sex with him? Why can’t you get it?

CowsGoBaaaaa · 15/06/2020 12:24

What is he playing at? Same thing you are OP, surely you can’t be that stupid.

Etinox · 15/06/2020 12:25

Ewwww
“He spoke all the time about his baby that was due in April. He said he wasn't with the babies mum and they were just friends. Me and him hit it off and we started seeing each other.”
I can’t even begin to understand your thinking.

Fluffycloudland77 · 15/06/2020 12:29

Yes you should just leave it all. Too much hassle.

RantyAnty · 15/06/2020 12:30

He isn't the type of person I'd want to hang out with.
He abandons her during her pregnancy.
Messes around with you.
Then he goes back to her.

Fighting over this guy is like fighting over a turd. You both think he's a sparkly special turd, but he's still shit.

Leave them to it.

Bunnymumy · 15/06/2020 12:36

Basically he is still with his baby mama and she loves him and he is cheating on her with you. He is a horrible man and must have worked a right number on her for her to stay and tolerate his shite. And he is already doing the same to you because you know he is in a relationship and yet you are still sleeping with him. That shit ain't normal.

acatcalledjohn · 15/06/2020 12:54

I just enjoy his company I just feel uncomfortable for her kind of involving me?

As opposed to feeling uncomfortable that he is sticking his dick in multiple women and thus leaving you at risk of STIs?

Self respect is somewhere way over there ---->

TheCanterburyWhales · 15/06/2020 12:56

She's not his ex.

Yeahnahmum · 15/06/2020 13:09

She is not his ex. And you and him are not dating. Also he is cheating and sleeping around with basically everyone. So why you are still interested in him is beyond me

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 15/06/2020 13:48

You both think he's a sparkly special turd, but he's still shit

I applaud this! Well said @RantyAnty

1forAll74 · 15/06/2020 14:11

I can't see why you would wish to spend any time with this man, when he is only half with you. And he has a baby with this other woman, which makes a lot of difference.. Best to walk away from a messy situation.

Cat112344 · 15/06/2020 14:22

Gonna have to repeat what others have said, it’s clear he’s still in a relationship with this woman and you two are fucking around behind her back. You have no right to be mad at her, you’re the other woman of course she’s going to be angry and ‘involve’ you. Walk away whilst you have no ties like kids, living together etc. I appreciate its causal to you, but think how the poor woman who just gave birth feels !

SuckingDownDarjeeling · 15/06/2020 14:55

Do you have children @Lifeistrbl ?

Aerial2020 · 15/06/2020 14:58

A man that disrespects the mother of his child is very unattractive.
He has not respect for you or any woman.

AvaMonroe · 15/06/2020 15:03

I am in a similar situation, I met my partner before lockdown and really hit it off. He took me to fancy restaurants, bought me lavish gifts, explained that he had always wanted to be with a transgender woman as that's his preference but got married out of peer pressure at the time. Now that lockdown restrictions are ending in Ireland he will have to see his wife a lot more and I am starting to worry. I trust him and I am confident in our relationship but having him see his ex regularly to pick up the kids is something I am not looking forward to.

backseatcookers · 15/06/2020 15:15

Now that lockdown restrictions are ending in Ireland he will have to see his wife a lot more and I am starting to worry. I trust him and I am confident in our relationship but having him see his ex regularly to pick up the kids is something I am not looking forward to.

Why date a man with kids then @AvaMonroe? I don't get it.

You'd rather he didn't get on with his ex? Or that he didn't see his kids?

If you trust him and you're confident in your relationship (your words) what on earth are you worried about?

thatsnotgoingtowork · 15/06/2020 15:26

Are people really this daft?

Man is in a relationship with the mother of his child or children, lies about it to someone else in order to have sex with them as and when he feels like it while still in a relationship with the mother of their child or children, turns out to be sleeping with and/ or trying to sleep with pretty much everybody he meets...

One of the casual sex partners expresses surprise and annoyance that his child or children's mother/ long term partner/ wife thinks they might be interested in knowing that they are one of many bits on the side and that their sex partner is still sleeping with his spouse or long term partner who is the mother of their children...

Casual sex is fine if everyone involved knows and consents to the type of relationship they are in and protects themself from bringing any children into the very much consenting adults only arrangement. As soon as their are children in any of the relationsships it's a gigantic irresponsible mess.

Odds on the OP getting pregnant to this loser before the end of the year - 2:1 in favour - anyone want to bet a tenner?

thatsnotgoingtowork · 15/06/2020 15:27

*there not their are children

Crystal87 · 15/06/2020 15:31

He's in a relationship with her. You're the bit on the side.

Ryah1 · 15/06/2020 15:35

This man will damage you.. walk away

Littleposh · 15/06/2020 15:39

He's not 'sort of' seeing her, he is in a relationship with her

You are having an affair with a man with a newborn baby

DancingWithTheDevil · 15/06/2020 15:43

Just dump him OP.
Casual dating is fine if all consent, but it doesn't sound like he is casual with the mother of his child.
You can do better.

DancingWithTheDevil · 15/06/2020 15:45

@Littleposh

He's not 'sort of' seeing her, he is in a relationship with her

You are having an affair with a man with a newborn baby

This. If you had met him and he had said: "I am still living with and in a relationship with this woman who has my child", would you have agreed to shag him? If no, why agree now?

Lynda07 · 15/06/2020 15:45

You don't need this man and you only met him at the beginning of the year. It sounds as though he is having his cake an eating it. Please don't be an accessory, you may only be 'casual' but the situation with his baby's mother is obviously bothering you and it is definitely bothering her!

GarlicMcAtackney · 15/06/2020 17:27

Of the 7.9billion humans clogging up the planet this is the specimen you picked? How embarrassing for you.

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