I wish the FWB turned into a relationship

[Regretful123]

I was having sex with this guy a few times. It was fun. But obviously it wasn’t going anywhere.

So I said at Christmas we shouldn’t keep in contact anymore.

I just wish he was around. I loved having sex with him:

I think I’m chronically too mentally unstable to have a relationship - I don’t think that I’m good enough for anyone or I really can’t have a relationship.

I got really horny a few months and asked if he wanted a shag. No response. He may have been in China so maybe he didn’t get my sms. I also think I pocket dialled him once.

Lol I’m terrible but I’m sure I’m not the only one :(

The thing is a FWB is short lived and in the moment, it's never going to fulfil you long term, if you saw him again, then he'll be gone again, I think it can be more damaging. Some people are ok with this kind of situation but from your title I guess you wanted more.

Maybe you could try building a more of a friendship/ dating but no sex until you are more stable to be in a relationship. You are good enough, you just have to work on your self esteem to realise it.

I had a 4 month FWB's last year, i too ended the arrangement as I thought that I was developing feelings. For a while after I missed him a lot (and did the same as you, texted him asking to meet up!) and wondered why I wasn't good enough for him etc.

Fast forward to this year and I have met someone that I am getting along with really well who is much more suited to me than the FWB's ever was. We both want the same thing and I have never doubted whether I am "enough."

Are you getting mental health support? Just with your comment about being "unstable." There will be other people that you develop feelings for, this guy clearly wasn't right right one.

I think I’m chronically too mentally unstable to have a relationship - I don’t think that I’m good enough for anyone or I really can’t have a relationship.

Aww I'm sure that's not true.

I think an FWB thing can often make one of the people involved feel hurt, think 'why doesn't he see me as good enough to be his girlfriend?' etc.

It can dent your self esteem, and more so if it was low already.

Plus sometimes one of the people involved is not really a friend, they're just using the other person for sex.

Not messaging you back was not very friendly of him. Even if he'd got a new girlfriend he could've messaged back and said so.

I’ve got an issue forming relationships and I’m just lonely to be honest.

Yes I’m getting some help, nhs is a bit crap to be honest.

I’ve had another one for five years but yeah that’s just for company as well. Haven’t seen him for like a year.

I’ve only had sex with those two men for three years lol.

@Crystalspider I’m just really thirsty at the moment.

He’s a bit of a loser as he smokes weed, which I don’t respect tbh. Professional job but yeah.