Parents and covid bubbles

[BillBaileysBum]

My socia media is awash with posts about people being overjoyed to reunite with their parents and it’s just making me feel shit.

I know many people have lost their parents and would perhaps think me massively ungrateful. But the truth is I don’t like my Mum. We’ve never been close. (My Dad is dead.)

I am seeing her. I’m doing her food shopping, I always put a little surprise treat in there for her. We chat, as much as she ever will, which isn’t much. I do the right things but honestly I just feel a bit shit about the whole thing.

Can anyone relate?

I understand what you mean, OP.

We hadn't seen our parents or in-laws for nearly 11 weeks. Had had one Zoom call with in-laws during that time when they saw our 5 DC, and then just some normal phonecalls with us adults.

Met up for a socially distant picnic outside one sunny day recently, and was nice enough. No running across the grass excited to see the kids or anything though!

My youngest is 9 months old, doesn't remember them, so kept crying whenever they tried to chat or play with her, so they just stopped trying.

Feel so guilty that I haven't missed them, and the kids haven't either, as pre-Covid we were so independent and used to not seeing much of them.

Both sets of our grandparents live over 100 miles away. I suggested to my parents that me and my children self isolate for 3 weeks and then stay with them a short while. My older disabled son had been asking to see them everyday since lockdown began. They however do not want to see us. They are however going out to shops and garden centres on a daily basis. My 7 month old has only seen them once since he was born. I feel very sad about the it, no idea when we will see them again. Maybe after the vaccine?

I know what you mean...

My dad died 10 years ago only a few months after we went and with my mother.

I have nothing to do with her - I wouldn't even know if she'd had covid! Although I assume someone would tell me if she died. Maybe not...

I suspect you're feeling the conflict between still doing things for her but not having the relationship you want.

Yes I feel the same. We live only 4 miles away from my parents and also my in laws. We hardly ever see the in laws, and since the lockdown started in march they haven't called us once! I've tried to maintain contact but I'm sick of it always being me. They aren't even my parents, so I've stopped!!
My own parents I am seeing in their garden for a chat. Even though I see them regularly we aren't close. I don't get on with my dad, he's narcissistic and a very negative person to be around so I don't enjoy their company.

Neither my parents of in laws have the internet or smart phones so there's been no video calls, or anything like that.

My best friend has a large family, they have been having weekly bingo and quiz nights on zoom etc and doing each others shipping, helping each other out etc. My friend sadly lost her dad a while back and I cant speak to her about my lack of relationship with mine because she gets angry with me that I should feel lucky I still have a dad, which I understand

Thank you, it helps to not feel alone!
Yes some of my friends have big close families and have been doing Zoom quizzes etc and I just feel a bit depressed that we can barely exchange a dozen lines of conversation. She’s just never got anything to say. Sometimes if you say something she just doesn’t bother answering (she’s not deaf) and it leaves me so flat I don’t want to bother again.

I’m so glad to read this thread. My parents are both dead, and I really really want in-laws that I can love and get along with but we just don’t. We haven’t seen them since February. We don’t miss them. I wish we did. ☹️

I don’t miss my Dad who died. I don’t miss my in laws who I’m not seeing. I see my Mum and wish the time away. I feel like such a shit person.

I do have lots of friends, I’m not a sociopath, honestly. The parent thing has just never really worked out for me.