Lost myself

[WorkHardPlayHard1]

Hi all, I think this is pretty common but seem to have lost myself. If I had a bucket list I wouldn't have a clue what to put on it! Hate idea of climbing mountains, jumping out of planes for thrills although I do love thrill rides. Have spent so much time thinking what would make my DH happy & 2 kids have lost the ability to think what would make me happy in a real or dream life. Have lost my imagination to. Is this normal? Have been working so hard & bringing up kids mostly alone (husband work v long hours) I've lost my mojo! Question is how do I get it back? Would really appreciate tips! 🙏🙏

No tips but I feel the same. 51 here and kids all grown up.

No tips I’m afraid. Lockdown has shown me I don’t really have any hobbies to miss!!
DH is climbing the walls as he can’t go climbing etc but there’s nothing I did before that I can’t now! Makes me a very boring person, I’ve tried to think of hobbies I’d like to do but I can’t do exercise, I’ve tried in the past, doing classes, 10k, zombie run etc and hate it as much as I ever did! I never got good at it and never felt ‘good’ after doing it like everyone says you will. I hate height, hate risk,
Also live in a small village near a small town so anything I might possibly like eg roller skating discos are all an hour away city!

I started some cookery evening classes last year, that helped me but it's not very useful advice just now.

Have you ever wanted to learn a language, thats something that's doable just now...

Have you ever been creative , there are so many YouTube videos and blogs on

Painting and drawing
Knitting
Cross stitch
Creative writing
House organisation (I liked this )
DIY

Would you like hillwalking or rambling, camping or fishing?

You could sign up to online classes at local colleges or universities , things like history , sociology , psychology ,

Was there ever anything you failed at and could go back to see if you can conquer it . Like maths at school or baking an amazing cake.

You're still there . You're just buried a bit just now.
These ideas are just to get you thinking xx

Great that you have spotted this. Now is a fresh time to start finding out what you would like, for yourself as well as all the things you already know about your desires for your family.

One technique is to keep a pen and paper by your bed and write something g as soon as you wake up. Doesn't matter if you can't think of anything to write, just start. One way is the date and time, maybe your name and then .... what is it that I want. What am I looking for.

Go easy with yourself, it will take time. Keep doing it and ideas and themes will emerge.

All the best.

Find something you enjoy doing (or think you might enjoy doing, just pick anything you could be interested in) and make time for it. Take a yoga or art class. Plan a weekend away to yourself. Even if your partner works long hours, he must be home at some point, so plan it for then. You could book a weekend away for yourself to relax in 3 months time. Tell him to work from home on the Friday or book AL to be home with the dc. Find some weekend volunteering or something you might enjoy doing on a regular basis. Make the plans, put them on the family calendar. Your dh will need to work his schedule around that.

Look for taster days at a local further education college. I did taster sessions in all sorts of things like dance, crafts and languages.

Thank you so much for your tips, that's made me smile already! Love doing house projects which am doing, ordered IKEA furniture which looks fab in 2 rooms so nearly finished them now. Doing interior design course which I love but difficult to get inspired at home as like the buzz🐝of people!! Language is good but so much harder when older! Will try my Spanish & see what comes back! Can't wait to go out partying again!! Don't know about you!?! 🍹🍸🍷🎊xx

What did you like when you were 12, when you were 17? To an extent we're the same person inside.

I don't have any hobbies either. I think many Mums don't. I have become single fairly recently too and feel like I sound so boring when I'm meeting new people and they ask what I like doing! Some great ideas above though which I will definitely look in to once lockdown is over (and a few before). And I definitely can't wait to go out partying again 😀