How to help my child deal with my partner and I's breakup

[STASSY05]

Hi, I have a 5 year old child who does not have a father figure in their life as we split when I was pregnant and he didn't want any involvement. I went on to meeting a new partner when my son was just over 1 and he has lived with my son and I for two years now and my son has a good bond with him although dosent call him dad or think that he is his biological father. Unfortunately we have decided to seperate as the relationship is just not working anymore and have decided we would both be happier alone... so he has moved back to his mums to stay. I am unsure how to approach the situation with my 5 year old child who has been asking each day when we come home why he isn't here and saying that he misses him. I have told him he has gone back to live with his mum for a while as his mum missed him and my child is asking me to call my ex partner to come home. I feel absolutely guilt ridden about the seperation for my child and unsure on how to help him process the seperation and also questioning wether or not I should speak to my ex partner about keeping contact with my child which I would not have a problem with... or if a clean break will be better for my child in the long term. I feel worried that my child will blame me for him leaving also.

PLEASEEE HELP!!

I would tell him the truth - that sometimes relationships don't work out, and that you have decided to split up. That you both decided you would be happier on your own, exactly as you stated it here.

You can say how you are sorry it ended , and are sorry that it is upsetting for your child to lose someone who is such a large part of his life, but that when two people are unhappy together, it is better to end things than to stay together and be unhappy.

As for contact - I wouldn't approach the ex about this unless he approaches you. If he does, I would ask your child if he would like to see ex, but not paint it as something that is going to be ongoing, because chances are it will end at some point.

Good luck OP. Children are resilient so long as they have someone to love them and explain things to them. I would recommend always being honest though - at a level they can understand.

Why have you said "for a while"? Most people, including children, deal better with certainty. You need to say that you and he are no longer together and he won't be coming back to live.

Is your ex going to continue contact with your dc or is that it?

i think it would be better for your child not to have ongoing contact with your ex. The chances are that it will fizzle out and your child will be even more confused.