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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He’s sharing personal things with others?

42 replies

MummaJ32 · 12/06/2020 16:53

I’ve just found out that my boyfriend has been sharing extremely private details about sexual conversations we’ve had with his work colleagues and possibly other people I don’t even know about... am I wrong to be upset about this?
I know people share things but he asked me to pass him his phone so I did and as I did the screen came up with a message from his colleague using what i’d said to him against me as a joke.. and he was laughing about it.

I told him I wasn’t happy but not sure if I’m overreacting now

OP posts:
Windyatthebeach · 12/06/2020 16:55

Tell him you and a friend have been laughing about his penis size..
See how he likes that..

joystir59 · 12/06/2020 16:58

He doesn't think he is in a relationship. For him what you share is casual. He wouldn't be so disrespectful otherwise. Ditch him.

Greyblueeyes · 12/06/2020 16:59

Dump him. That is completely unacceptable and a betrayal to you.

1235kbm · 12/06/2020 16:59

Dump him OP. Just finish the relationship, it's just going to get worse.No one who cares about you, makes you the laughing stock with deeply personal information. He's humiliating you. He's treating you with contempt.

2007Millie · 12/06/2020 17:06

Dump him.

sunflowersandtulips50 · 12/06/2020 18:10

YANBU to be furious- says a lot about how he views your relationship- agree with everyone else- dump

MummaJ32 · 12/06/2020 18:28

What does YANBU mean please?

OP posts:
Thelnebriati · 12/06/2020 18:34

YANBU = you are not being unreasonable.
I'd be upset by what he's doing, I don't expect he;d like it if it was you doing it to him.

MyOwnSummer · 12/06/2020 18:35

YANBU is You are not being unreasonable.

I'd be furious in your position, this man has no respect for you at all.

MummaJ32 · 12/06/2020 18:36

Thank you all. I am really upset by this x

OP posts:
DDIJ · 12/06/2020 18:37

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

NoMoreDickheads · 12/06/2020 19:00

BIN! What an arsehole. You can't put up with this, or you're giving him a license to treat you how he wants. He's shown you what he thinks of you with his disrespect. Act accordingly and block him.

wantmorenow · 12/06/2020 19:04

A healthy marriage is composed of windows and walls.
The windows, which must stay open, are between you and your spouse. This is how you communicate and pass intimacy, trust, secrets, and love. The couple may also have close meaningful relationships outside of their connection. However, the windows between partners and their other relationships should remain much smaller and not as transparent.
The walls are between the two of you (together) and the outside world. The wall gives your marriage privacy. No one should know more about your relationship than your partner, and any private information shared inside the marriage should not be shared with anyone outside it.

Not my words but ones that firmly believe in. He has disrespected you and your relationship.

Happynow001 · 12/06/2020 19:23

He has been utterly disrespectful to you and you deserve someone better than this uncaring and hurtful person in your life. Send him packing OP. 🌷

FizzyGreenWater · 12/06/2020 19:34

That's an instant dump.

What a PRICK.

Absolutely appalling and humiliating. No, you are not overreacting.

MsDogLady · 12/06/2020 19:40

He is making a mockery of you. Get rid of this loser asap.

BumbleBeee69 · 12/06/2020 19:40

End this now... Flowers

MummaJ32 · 12/06/2020 19:59

Thanks everyone. I’ve ended the relationship and he has blocked me 😬

OP posts:
purpleboy · 12/06/2020 20:00

No loss there then!

MummaJ32 · 12/06/2020 20:10

No I guess not @purpleboy
Hearing other people’s views has really put it in perspective for me

OP posts:
TwentyViginti · 12/06/2020 20:11

Just be wary of him unblocking and trying to wheedle round you when he fancies a bit of sex. Best to block him back.

He's far too immature for a relationship, and totally disrespectful.

MummaJ32 · 12/06/2020 20:27

@twentyviginti this has made me chuckle because he’s actually just unblocked me? 🙈

OP posts:
TwentyViginti · 12/06/2020 20:30

Hmm Grin

MummaJ32 · 12/06/2020 20:35

@twentyviginti so he’s keeping me dangling basically by waiting for sex one day?

OP posts:
TwentyViginti · 12/06/2020 20:54

You ended it, so he's hoping the blocking was 'punishment' enough for you to want to go scuttling back and begging forgiveness the moment he unblocked. And yes, he'll want sex. He doesn't deserve sex with any woman, the way he is about them with his equally twatty mates.