Splitting with husband

[Northend77]

So, I finally bit the bullet and ended my 10 year marriage last week. It seems that he feels the same - he's not really talking to me and has shut himself away in the bedroom however I had a chat with him this evening and he's been looking at flats to move out to and seems to be accepting of the situation so hopefully things can remain amicable as we have 5 year old twin girls to protect through all this

We rent and I plan to stay in the house with the girls, he is looking for somewhere close to here so he can still do his school pick up days (which I was relieved to hear). How often he has the girls will depend on where he ends up living and I'd rather keep it amicable and away from solicitors if possible

I have gone through my finances to see where I can pull back and I would qualify for some Universal Credit but otherwise I'm a bit at a loss as to what else I need to do. I want to create a checklist of things to sort out - reducing outgoings, sorting out our joint bank account, getting the rental agreement in my name only - but can you knowledgeable people out there give me any guidance or advice on what else I need to consider please?

Keeping it amicable if you can is important as you have many years to co-parent together. The usual things are things that you've already mentioned.

1. Open a Bank Account in your sole name,
2. Check how much maintenance you would receive (if any) and discuss with your ex what the best arrangements are for shared parenting,
3. Sort out housing. Speak to your Landlord and ask whether they will allow you to take over the tenancy on your own,
4. Make a claim for Universal Credit as you can do this even whilst living together once you have officially separated,
5. Once you have got things set up and he has a home sorted you will need to take over bills but it is worth going though things now and looking at all of your expenses and getting better deals where possible and get rid of unnecessary expenses so you will know where you stand.

You may find yourself missing certain things about being married, even if overall you're relieved about the marriage ending.

You might really grieve sometimes, and you also might feel lonelier than you expected to.
Just realize it's normal and doesn't mean you made a mistake. Those feelings should pass after some time.