Autism as an adult woman

[SeahorseSaddle]

Looking for women who have been diagnosed as adults with autism please.

Autism runs in my family and a friend recently asked if I had ever been tested because she always thought I may be on the spectrum. It led to a bit of thinking and I looked at how Autism presents in women and a lot of it sounds like me.

I'm not really sure whether to go and get tested or what a diagnosis would actually mean for me if I was on the spectrum. I wonder would it make any difference to know one way or the other.

So I guess I'm wondering in what way has being confirmed as Autistic been helpful to you?

I was diagnosed a couple of months ago. I feel more righteous about the shitty way people have treated me at times.

It's helped only in the sense that I no longer resent a lot of things about myself that used to make me uncomfortable.

I've stopped caring about the fact that I don't value some of the things other people do, and that I don't enjoy some of life's supposed universal pleasures. I used to think I was 'weird' and abhorrent, and felt a degree of guilt, whereas now I know I'm perfectly normal, just different to NT people, so I no longer beat myself into the ground about those differences.

I can't say it's been of any practical help, or altered anything for the better in a practical sense. I just do what I do with a more relaxed outlook now, and no longer feel the need to constantly apologise for who I am, so yes, on the whole a diagnosis has been beneficial to me.

It's helped me a lot, to forgive myself when I cock up socially, and understand my past of being bullied etc.

Thanks for sharing your experiences, they've given me more to think about.

I was diagnosed as an adult. I get no extra support with anything in particular. It has helped me to know that things I’ve found difficult all my life are not just me being stupid.

Go for it, but expect a very long wait if you go NHS pathway.

It made me understand myself more, from a different perspective. I reflect on past events and see them in a new light.

I have two kids, one diagnosed with ASD and one on the diagnosis pathway, and over the last couple of years have realised I’m almost certainly autistic too.

It was a relief when I finally made peace with it. All my life I’ve felt like a bit of a failure socially. A massive failure actually. Blamed myself. Now everything makes sense. I can look back at my entire life, going right back to early schooldays and it all makes sense.

I have no idea how adult women go about being taken seriously (I guess having autistic kids helps) so I’m interested to see your responses.

I haven't been diagnosed but my 15 year old son was diagnosed with ASD last year (after a long process - I first raised it with school when he was 11) and he's now about to be assessed for ADHD (privately or we'd be waiting another year) which is often comorbid with ASD and which his ASD assessor was sure he had.

Along the way I've done a lot of reading about these conditions and how they present in different people, including females, the genetic link and so on. I realised a few tears ago that I almost certainly have ASD and probably ADD (without the H) too.

It's been a relief to be honest and explains so much. All my life people have often seemed to dislike, avoid or be annoyed by me (even my own mother). I've often struggled to fit in yet can't understand where I am going wrong. "On paper" I am doing everything right! But I just seem to be slightly on a different wavelength to everyone else. In turn this has led to feelings of selfconciousness and anxiety about social situations.

Since my realisation I've been much happier knowing there is a reaction and I'm not a bad/ horrible/ unloveable person. I've stopped "beating myself up" and think more kindly about myself. I'm less anxious as a result which has been like a weight lifting.

I don't think I will seek a diagnosis because I'm not sure it will offer anything enriching at age 46. Despite my (at times shockingly bad) poor executive functions I have made a success out of life. I'm a partner in a law firm and happily married (two children) to a husband who has always just accepted me. I have a handful of good friends and can manage to "get by" with acquaintances.

I'm not even sure an early diagnosis would have helped. I might have "let myself off" and not tried so hard.

Good luck OP, I wish you all the best.

"Reason" not "reaction", sorry!

honey very similar situation here. Ds was diagnosed last year age 15 and it has really opened my eyes to neurodiversity. It would explain so many of the issues I have had especially as a child. I'm struggling though and it's really difficult to think about, some of the these things I have never shared with anyone.

Good luck sea.