Recovering from emotional abuse / relationship with narcissist - reading?

[GoGoGadgetShoes]

Dear all,

I separated from my covert narcissist STBXH earlier this year.

When I realised who/what I was dealing with, I read everything I could get my hands on about these types of personalities. This definitely helped me understand so much about my relationship, and gave me the strength to move on.

Now, I really need help with the recovery phase. Deprogramming myself from all the learned behaviours, the conditioned responses, the inbuilt fears and worries.

I've got a great counsellor who specialises in this stuff but I'd appreciate any good reading material that you might be able to recommend. Books I can download or online resources...

Of course, thanks to this board, it's also super useful to hear from others further down the road to recovery.

Thank you!!

No advice but following. I divorced my emotionally abusive, controlling narc about 6 years ago but I still bear the scars.

I’m happily remarried to a lovely man who understands.

Living with the dominator is fantastic. Have you considered the freedom programme?

Also if you have Spotify, there's a series called engendered. There's one (episode 2 I think) that has Evan Stark as a guest. My god he is brilliant. He talks about coercive control so eloquently and it really helped me to understand what happened to me.

open.spotify.com/episode/0Mw9kKIDwzueo04TVasuhQ?si=IjVFPWaZQKqUeeVJyP2Udw

@SexnotGender, I'm so glad to hear you've found a good'un. But sad that you still have the scars of your previous relationship. It's a long journey I guess.

@Broccoliduns thanks for those recommendations. I've not read Living with the Dominator, will check it out. And yes, am often on Spotify so will give that a listen for sure. Not in the UK so not sure about the freedom programme...

You can do the Freedom Programme on line so have a look.
I think you need to buy some materials at about £12.
Also have a read of Lundy Bancroft - why does he do that?
There is a book on Amazon called 'How to Kill a Narcissist'
That has some good reviews but also some bad ones so have a read through of reviews first.
Another book on there is called 'out of the fog'
Surviving and Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse: A Collection of Essays on Malignant Narcissism and Recovery from Emotional Abuse THIS BOOK has some really good reviews!
Well done on getting out OP.
I can't imagine how hard all this is.

Well that link didn't work.
Hopefully Surviving and Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse: A Collection of Essays on Malignant Narcissism and Recovery from Emotional Abuse THIS ONE WILL

Nope - but you have the title there so have a look.

@Hellsbellsmelons - found it - Thank you!

I'll check out the freedom programme online.

If you are still grieving the loss of the relationship, I found "you can heal your heart" by Louise Hay very useful.

I felt more at peace with myself about the whole experience.

@jamaisjedors - thanks for that suggestion. I'll have a look!
I remember your threads - reading them gave me a lot of strength while I was going through this breakup. FWIW my STBXH narc is French...

@GoGoGadgetShoes ahh glad my threads were helpful (still ongoing!) and glad you are out and on track to recovery.