Boyfriend goes to his parents

[00bobohanD]

Hiya need some advice
I want to know what other people think or if anyone else is in a similar situation.
I’ve been with my boyfriend just under two years he lives at home with his mum and dad but spends most of his time at my house in the week.
He has a two year old but has to go to his parents house to see him at the weekend where they take over the parental role he’s not allowed to bring his child to my house or have him in his car, his ex says what he can and can’t do and only speaks to his mum not him about things.
His mum and dad take over and don’t let him do anything with his child on his own which he doesn’t mind he wants them to be this involved.
Before this virus he used to ask me to go with him to stay at his parents house but it makes me feel uncomfortable like we’re teenagers and had to ask if we could go out etc.
Now he leaves me for two days on my own to go back and he says I should stop being a child and accept it but I’m really finding it hard to deal with and think he should man up and have his child on his own and take him out on his own.
Am I being unreasonable? Should I just shut up and just be

Why can’t he have the child on his own

If the courts have said he can't be on his own with his own child then why on earth would you want to be with him?

It’s not gone to court , he wants it this way

Is he over 18??
Walk away op. He is a waste of time.

He doesn’t want to he likes it this way for now. it’s not gone to court, it’s just a massive mess what his ex says goes

If it's not gone to court it's complete nonsense. How old is he?

You don't have to accept being part of this ridiculous situation. His poor child!

Is your boyfriend 14yo ?

Is there a reason the mum says this? Is the contact court ordered ?

He’s 31!
He’s a good dad just not had the chance to have the same experience as other dads as his mum and dad take over and tell him what to do with his child!
They all go by what his ex wants what she says goes because she could stop them having contact !

He's 31 and puts up with this shit? Or CBA to parent his own child? Walk away and leave them all to it.

You’ve been together almost two years. And the child is two years old. So, they broke up during the pregnancy / when baby was tiny?
I don’t blame the ex if she doesn’t want him involved, for whatever reason. She obviously trusts his parents to mind the child, of that suits him then that’s their set-up.
I wouldn’t think you have any say...

We’ve been together 16 months sorry!
And his child will be 3 soon!
I just want an outside opinion on this.

he says I should stop being a child and accept it

The 31 year old man who lives with mum and dad and doesn't parent his own kid said this to you? Tell him to fu#k all the way off and raise your standards in blokes OP. Bet when he is living with you in the week you cook, clean and trot about after him, like his mum does at the weekends.

It sounds dodgy that he doesn't have much access/unsupervised time with his child. I would assume there was some reason for that, like he had been abusive to either the child's mother or the child.

It’s not gone to court , he wants it this way

I honestly think there is some reason for his ex to want it to be like this. And if it's just that he CBA to do the work and lets his parents do it instead, he's crap anyway, isn't he?

his mum and dad take over and tell him what to do with his child!

This doesn't happen unless something really dodgy has gone on- he's one of the parents so what he says genuinely does go about his child, unless his ex has some safeguarding concerns which his parents agree with, and he CBA to try and do otherwise.

Christ, walk away.

He lives with his parents and lets his ex dictate his time with his child, plus she bypasses him to speak to his Mum.

Maybe his parents know him better than you do and so don't think he would look after his child well.

How old are you? Why would you want this relationship? Also I think you have had a name change fail.

Does he pay maintenance for his child ?

Why can't he live with you ? Or on his own ?

Why can't he spend time alone or with you & his child ?

Does he work ?

Why does he not want to parent his own child?

How old are you? You all sound very young

Don't let him move in with you. Is he working, why can't he rent a place on his own where his DC can stay with him.

His mum and dad take over and don’t let him do anything with his child on his own which he doesn’t mind he wants them to be this involved
So either the court order says he can't be alone or he cba to parent his kid. I'd have walked a15 months ago. Do you want kids with him?

She couldn't stop him having contact unless she has evidence that he done something really awful.

*that he HAS done something really awful

So you had been together almost two years... until people pointed out that was a bit iffy when he has a 2yr old, at which point you knocked off 7-8 months and have now not even been together a year and a half?

Why would you put up with it? He is 31 and only sees his child at his mum and dads because they look after the child for him. He doesn't want to actually be a dad. Where is this relationship going to go? He sounds awful.