Is it the end?

[Lockdownseperation]

Sorry if I drip feed or ramble. My really struggling to logically form my thoughts.

We have a 4 year old and a nearly 1 year old. Together for 15 years, married for 7 years. Im a SAHM. DH is on the shielding list. I haven’t had a full nights sleep for 21 months and I’m exhausted (hard pregnancy and bf baby).

We are arguing lots. I don’t feel properly listened to, if I say how I feel he interrupts and wants specific example which he argues about. He never fully finishes household jobs, makes promises that he doesn’t fulfil, I would rather he didn’t as it is easier to know what needs doing that come around half done things an inconvenient time. We have the same arguments again and again. He would say I blame him when it’s not his faulty and then explode at him.

We argue too much and I’m exhausted with family life. Shielding means I don’t know if DD1 can go to school in September. I’m exhausted. Please help.

Bump

I think it sounds like life would be easier without him there.

At times it feels that way. I think it’s only bed time which would be more difficult and then financially I would be screwed.

Your feelings are your feelings, he can't invalidate them by arguing each point! That's really unfair.

It does sound like you are both in a pressure cooker with lockdown, and you sound utterly exhausted

I'm not sure what to suggest without more information...do you still love him and want to be with him? If so then maybe counselling? I know it's trotted out as a fix-all but if he won't let you make your point then maybe you need a 'referee', an independent person to manage the conversation and let you both say your piece.

I’m not sure either.

I don’t know if I still love him. I’m not sure how that is suppose to feel anymore. With young children we certainly don’t have time for each. Counselling would be a good idea but with baby who I can’t guarantee will sleep I’m not sure how to make that work

I made a chores timetable, based on how much time each of us were at home and not at work. It was a part of our issues and also part of a final attempt to save our family. That was last autumn and it seems to be the kick up the arse he needed.

Splitting involves too many unknowns for me to do it if our family can possibly be salvaged. Finances, step parents, step siblings, my loss of control over half my child's life, generally trusting dd's father to make agreeable choices for her without my input.