My head is an absolute mess!

[raspberrymac]

My head is an absolute mess and I just need to offload.

It's to do with my ex, I think it's just a dose of lockdown nostalgia and a bit of rose tinted glasses but I don't know what to do.

My ex and I haven't spoken since we were 25 (Now 32) but before that we were good friends, we broke up over looking back something silly but we both had issues going off within our families at the time and I think it kind of impacted on that.
He then got with someone else but I don't think I ever really got over him and wanted him back but of course by then it was too late and I think I'll always think of him as the one that got away.

Long story short, I'm now married with a child but a friend passed away from coronavirus we were on the same course at university and it has taken took me right back to being at university and I miss him, I keep wanting to contact at him but I know deep down this isn't wise idea but there's just this constant niggling in my head.

Is it just nostalgia talking?

Yes nostalgia, I think it's when life becomes a bit boring or stale a fantasy back to our youth with an old love seems appealing.

I seem to be doing a lot of this lately. I’m constantly thinking about a guy I got really close to years ago when I was at university and keep thinking of him as the one that got away and that if I’d have just got with and stayed with him I wouldn’t be in the situation I’m in now. Barely even thought about him before the lockdown

It's natural to be in an absolute mess when someone you care about dies - if this was a university friend, then they were presumably roughly your age e.g. around 32 or so. That's terribly young to die and extremely sad. I'm sorry for your loss.

Your thoughts of your ex are just nostalgia - for relief, your mind is probably just searching for a time when things seemed simple and perhaps less serious. Enjoy the memories but don't attach any importance to them.

The grass is always greener.

Grief can do very strange things to you. When a very close friend died several years ago I begged an ex boyfriend to come back. He did, it was a disaster. It was all to do with finding comfort and something that was good once upon a time. My brain was just desperate to forget about the intense grief and give me time out from the pain. Add in lockdown and it will do strange things to people. You are just being a normal human trying to get through what is going on as best as you can xx

Raspberry, I am sorry for the loss of your friend. You are feeling nostalgia for/attraction to your younger self and your previous adventures and experiences.

Your ex is an ex for a reason. There were issues, and it was best that you both moved on.

You are correct that contacting him would be unwise. Why risk sabotaging your marriage and family? Why risk your child’s security?

Omg I thought it was just me having some sort of life crisis..
I've been absolutely obsessing over the past....Men, well boys really, The freedom, the fun and the missed opportunities
I've actually cried a few times
All started since lockdown!