Have been on a couple of dates with new guy who I do like - seems kind, generous and open to discussing things/having debates.
A couple of things which made me go hmm: he is quite right wing in his view whereas I am very liberal. He sometimes one our dates has said quite controversial things which have shocked me but then upon digging deeper he admits he must learn more around the subject/I challenge him and he agrees the challenge is a good point. Almost as if he says whatever is in his head without thinking it through?
Two examples:
- mentioned a gay family member of his and how one of his other close family members (who he strongly dislikes) is opposed to this, and how he finds it all a bit sad that he has views like that. however, said that for him the issue of gay marriage was less of a priority (he doesn't understand why it is a "thing") rather than e.g. solving the issue of the rising divorce rate... Rather he sees marriage as a social/religious instiution for raising children. I challenged him and said I felt that it wasn't about marriage, it was about equal rights... To which he said he took my point and may well need to reassess his view.
- He asked my views on the BLM movement and agreed that latest developments were shocking but said that statistically people of colour were not more likely to suffer police aggression in terms of isolated incidents. Also said that he did think that statistically more crimes were committed by the black community (and he admitted he knew could be interpreted as a racist comment) and that should be drilled into. I challenged him strongly around this and said that it was clear systemic racism existed in all sectors of society and it was probably something we were both blind to in many ways - and could he read xyz book to undretsand more. He is also talking to a friend who has had different workplace experiences of him (who is a POC) in order to educate himself more, which felt a bit crude but they are good friends and apparently the guy was happy to do this.
It sort of feels that on issues he is ignorant on/do not affect him directly, he has quite limited/blinkered opinions - but accepts that he should probably re-assess them and takes the other side into account. Whilst this is completely different to my own views (I automatically tend to veer towards the liberal side of the spectrum) his willingness to discuss and listen gave me some hope especially as he does seem like a decent bloke in terms of the relationships he has, attitudes towards things, kindness & generosity etc.
Can anyone advise on this?